Gender Comm

Most of the time, people shoose people they know the most about. The source of that information is COMMUNICATION.

Initiating relationships depends more on the information gathered through communication process than on any other factor -- even physical appearance.

• 1. High expectations
• 2. This should be easy
• 3. Fear of failure
• 4. If I relax, good relationships will FIND me.
• 5. The Bozo Pill
• 6. It's got to happen now!
• 7. Giving up too much, just to have a dating relationship

Setting unrealistically high expectations for others and our relationships -- setting ourselves up for failure.

Effective communication isn't easy and the more you have riding on the success ofyour relationship, the more difficult comm seems to be.

Failure is part of the relational process, however painful it might be. Even though it's cliche, we do learn from failure.

Don't merely wait and expect friendship or romance to find you. Poactive, balanced approach of introspection, planning, patience, communication skill development, and maybe a bit of faith is likely to generate better results than just waiting for something to happen.

Becoming tongue-tied while talking to someone attractive make things go from bad to worse. With a better understanding of gender comm and more practice to develop your relational skills, Bozo moments will be fewer.

Wanting too much too soon (and soemtimes getting it) can be a big problem. Not taking adequate time to nurture a relationship can sabotage a potentially wonderful relationship before it has had its chance.

Being too willing to compromise one's self sexually or in other ways in order to get a dating relationship started....

No one should bend to pressure or be motivated by the desire to impress another person or to achieve some form of social status by doing thing we really don't want to do.

Internet vastly increased opportunities for relationship development and has impacted user's general understanding of romantic relationships.

It lessens the importance of physical appearance in relationship initiation.

The possibility for identity alteration and gender bending -- it's possible for people to take on totally different identities online.

Internet relationships can be just as meaningful and significant as in-person relationships.

Motivational state that causes someone to think, feel, and behave in a positive manner toward antoher person

Feeling drawn to antoher person because you want to have sexual contact with him or her

The degree to which you desire to form and possibly maintain an interpersonal relationship with another person

Space (territory) around you; physical and psychological distance between you and others

Number of members within a communication network that potential partners have to go through to reach each other

Tendency to form relationships, particularly romantic relationships, with person youfeel are simliar in physical attracticeness to you.

Tendency to be more interested in someone whose upbringing, attitudes, beliefs, and values are more similar to yours than different

People's responses to low predictability and high uncertainty about other people and circumstances.

Uncertainty reduction strategy of gaining information by observing people, but not directly communicating

Uncertainty reduction strategy that involves a third party or toher indirect means of gaining information

Uncertainty reduction strategy that engages the interested party directly in communication, either one-on-one or in a group, to gain more information

Use of opening lines or questions to get a conversation off the ground

Having the ability to ask great questions -- by listening intently to speaker to respond appropriately showing you are really listening and interested.

Means of showing attraction to and interest in another person

--People also flirt b/c it's innocent fun, to make 3rd party jealous, to develope social skills, or trying to persuade someone to do something for them.

• 1 Conversation starters
• 2 Asking questions
• 3 Flirting

How effectively and appropriately one communicates

Voluntarily providing information to others that they would not learn if you did not tell them

Understanding and feeling what another person is feeling

Dimension of empathy involving the cognitive ability to adopt the viewpoint of another person

Dimension of empathy which occurs when one person experiences an emotional response parallel to that of another person

Dimension of empathy involving a sympathetic and altruistic concern for another person

45% of Comm is listening

Effective listening and appropriate responding are critical skills in relationship development and success.

Vocalizations such as "uh-huh" and "yeah," which indicate listening and can reinforce and draw out more information from speaker

The amount of eye contact one makes while speaking versus while listening

Messages exchanged without words

NV comm you give off to others, knowingly or unknowingly

Ability to detect and accurately interpret NV cues of others

Comfort in the familiar

Change comes from a person feels relationship is lacking in some respect, or no longer meets their needs

Liking and wishing to do well by someone else wnad believing those feelings and good intentions are reciprocated.

Friendship affirms and validates in a more distinctie way than even the most positive romantic or blood tie

The ways friendships change as person go from one life stage to antoher.

Term that emerged in the 1970s to describe a relational partner

Preferred term for someone involved in a romantic, nonmarried relationship

Nonmartial relationship that may range from dating to a more long-term, committed relationship which may or may not include sexual activity

Romantic relatiosnhip in which the partners only date one another and not others; may also imply a sexual relationship in which partners are only involved sexually with each other

Issues that arise within romantic relationships that need negotiation

Need for independence and time alone from one's partner

Need for affiliation and assoication with one's romantic partner, which often involves time spent together

Power OVER, instead of power TO, in which one partner exerts contol or influence over the other

Power TO, versus power OVER; mutual control or shared influence within a relationship

Romantic relationship or marriage in which parters have equal power and authority and share responsibilities equally, without regard for sex roles, income levels, job demands and so on