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What is the role of information in choice?
Most of the time, people shoose people they know the most about. The source of that information is COMMUNICATION.
Initiating relationships depends more on the information gathered through communication process than on any other factor -- even physical appearance.
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What are the 7 Relationship Roadblocks?
- 1. High expectations
- 2. This should be easy
- 3. Fear of failure
- 4. If I relax, good relationships will FIND me.
- 5. The Bozo Pill
- 6. It's got to happen now!
- 7. Giving up too much, just to have a dating relationship
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Roadblock 1: High Expectations
Setting unrealistically high expectations for others and our relationships -- setting ourselves up for failure.
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Roadblock 2: This should be easy
Effective communication isn't easy and the more you have riding on the success ofyour relationship, the more difficult comm seems to be.
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Roadblock 3: Fear of Failure
Failure is part of the relational process, however painful it might be. Even though it's cliche, we do learn from failure.
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Roadblock 4: If I just relax, a Good relationship will find me
Don't merely wait and expect friendship or romance to find you. Poactive, balanced approach of introspection, planning, patience, communication skill development, and maybe a bit of faith is likely to generate better results than just waiting for something to happen.
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Roadblock 5: The Bozo Pill
Becoming tongue-tied while talking to someone attractive make things go from bad to worse. With a better understanding of gender comm and more practice to develop your relational skills, Bozo moments will be fewer.
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Roadblock 6: It's got to happen now!
Wanting too much too soon (and soemtimes getting it) can be a big problem. Not taking adequate time to nurture a relationship can sabotage a potentially wonderful relationship before it has had its chance.
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Roadblock 7: Giving up too much just to have a dating relationship
Being too willing to compromise one's self sexually or in other ways in order to get a dating relationship started....
No one should bend to pressure or be motivated by the desire to impress another person or to achieve some form of social status by doing thing we really don't want to do.
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Prospecting for relationships in Cyberspace: not being seen
Internet vastly increased opportunities for relationship development and has impacted user's general understanding of romantic relationships.
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What is the major advantage of Cyber-relating?
It lessens the importance of physical appearance in relationship initiation.
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What is the most interesting aspect of Internet communication?
The possibility for identity alteration and gender bending -- it's possible for people to take on totally different identities online.
Internet relationships can be just as meaningful and significant as in-person relationships.
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Attraction
Motivational state that causes someone to think, feel, and behave in a positive manner toward antoher person
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Sexual Attraction
Feeling drawn to antoher person because you want to have sexual contact with him or her
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Interpersonal Attraction
The degree to which you desire to form and possibly maintain an interpersonal relationship with another person
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Proximity
Space (territory) around you; physical and psychological distance between you and others
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Communication distance
Number of members within a communication network that potential partners have to go through to reach each other
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Matching Hypothesis
Tendency to form relationships, particularly romantic relationships, with person youfeel are simliar in physical attracticeness to you.
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Similarity
Tendency to be more interested in someone whose upbringing, attitudes, beliefs, and values are more similar to yours than different
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Uncertainty reduction
People's responses to low predictability and high uncertainty about other people and circumstances.
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Passive Strategy
Uncertainty reduction strategy of gaining information by observing people, but not directly communicating
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Active Strategy
Uncertainty reduction strategy that involves a third party or toher indirect means of gaining information
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Interactive Strategy
Uncertainty reduction strategy that engages the interested party directly in communication, either one-on-one or in a group, to gain more information
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Conversation starters
Use of opening lines or questions to get a conversation off the ground
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What makes a good conversationalist?
Having the ability to ask great questions -- by listening intently to speaker to respond appropriately showing you are really listening and interested.
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Flirting
Means of showing attraction to and interest in another person
--People also flirt b/c it's innocent fun, to make 3rd party jealous, to develope social skills, or trying to persuade someone to do something for them.
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What are the three ways we communicate interest?
- 1 Conversation starters
- 2 Asking questions
- 3 Flirting
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Communicative Competence
How effectively and appropriately one communicates
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Self-disclosure
Voluntarily providing information to others that they would not learn if you did not tell them
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Empathy
Understanding and feeling what another person is feeling
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Perspective-talking
Dimension of empathy involving the cognitive ability to adopt the viewpoint of another person
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Emotional Contagion
Dimension of empathy which occurs when one person experiences an emotional response parallel to that of another person
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Empathetic Concern
Dimension of empathy involving a sympathetic and altruistic concern for another person
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Listening
45% of Comm is listening
Effective listening and appropriate responding are critical skills in relationship development and success.
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Back-channel cues
Vocalizations such as "uh-huh" and "yeah," which indicate listening and can reinforce and draw out more information from speaker
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Visual dominance ratio
The amount of eye contact one makes while speaking versus while listening
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NV Comm
Messages exchanged without words
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Nonverbal Expressiveness
NV comm you give off to others, knowingly or unknowingly
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NV sensitivity
Ability to detect and accurately interpret NV cues of others
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Relationship stability
Comfort in the familiar
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Relationship movement
Change comes from a person feels relationship is lacking in some respect, or no longer meets their needs
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Friendship
Liking and wishing to do well by someone else wnad believing those feelings and good intentions are reciprocated.
Friendship affirms and validates in a more distinctie way than even the most positive romantic or blood tie
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Friendshifts
The ways friendships change as person go from one life stage to antoher.
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Significant other
Term that emerged in the 1970s to describe a relational partner
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Relational Partner
Preferred term for someone involved in a romantic, nonmarried relationship
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Romantic relationship
Nonmartial relationship that may range from dating to a more long-term, committed relationship which may or may not include sexual activity
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Monogamous Relationship
Romantic relatiosnhip in which the partners only date one another and not others; may also imply a sexual relationship in which partners are only involved sexually with each other
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Relationship tension
Issues that arise within romantic relationships that need negotiation
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Autonomy
Need for independence and time alone from one's partner
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Connection
Need for affiliation and assoication with one's romantic partner, which often involves time spent together
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Power
Power OVER, instead of power TO, in which one partner exerts contol or influence over the other
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Empowerment
Power TO, versus power OVER; mutual control or shared influence within a relationship
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Egalitarian relationship
Romantic relationship or marriage in which parters have equal power and authority and share responsibilities equally, without regard for sex roles, income levels, job demands and so on
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