-
Emerging Adulthood: Hallmark
Separating from family of origin & becoming an adult yourself
-
2 Important Functions of Emerging Adulthood
- Develop a clear sense of identity
- Develop the capacity for intimacy (moving away from relationships you know & need to initiate your own; people can leave if they're not happy; starting to think ab. marriage)
-
Individuation
- The person gets to see themselves separate from their family of origin
- Similar to differentiation (I'm sep. from you; Balance self-interest & interest of others; Ability to listen)
- Different from differentiation (Lifelong process)
- Failure to Launch as an example
-
Functional Autonomy
- The ability to manage your life affairs/your own space
- ie- Do your laundry, make breakfast, go shopping, etc.
-
Financial Autonomy
- The ability to completely support yourself
- Varying degrees of this
-
Psychological Autonomy
The ability to make decisions on your own
-
Off-Time
- Being out of balance w/ nature
- ie- you're supposed to move out & launch. If you're late to do that, you're off time.
-
Indicators of Individuation
The degree to which adults are emotionally dependent or emotionally receptive to their family of origin
-
Emotional Dependence
Excessive need for approval from your family of origin
-
Emotional Reactivity
The degree of conflictual feelings (guilt/anxiety/mistrust) that exist
-
Age at Marriage
- 1970s: 20.8 for women & 23.2 for men
- 2005: 25.3 for women & 27.1 for men
- Rates of never marrieds (by age 34) have quadruled since 1970
-
Stimulus Value-Role (SVR) Theory
- Mustein
- 1. Stimulus stage (physical appearance/social standing)
- 2. Value stage (similar goals/values/beliefs)
- 3. Role stage (commitment result of compatible role expectations/performance)
-
6-Stage Model
- Lewis
- 1. Similarities (attraction)
- 2. Rapport
- 3. Mutual Self-Disclosure (talk ab the world & your opinions)
- 4. Empathy
- 5. Interpersonal Role Fit (how well your roles are compatible with the other person's)
- 6. Dyadic Crystallization (development of roles/identity as a couple)
-
Social Exchange Persepective
- Relationships are economies. They're based on give & take
- Rewards- time, energy, gifts
- Costs- time, energy, money. Women tend to have more b/c we're socialized to be relational
- Balance of rewards/costs is referred to as the level of outcomes
- Interpersonal attraction
- Comparison Level
- Comparison level for alternatives CLalt
-
Level of Outcomes
Outcomes = rewards - costs
-
Interpersonal Attraction
- Part of social exchange perspective
- Filters/outcomes
- Your family will instill filters in you & you'll use them to narrow a "pool of eligibles"
- Reflect the characterstics we believer to be necessary in a lifetime companion
-
Comparison Level (CL)
- Part of social exchange perspective
- **What you expect in this relationship**
- Standards against which the relationship is judged
- Determines who you find attractive and the relationship qualities we like
- Can be affected by other relationships we've seen (like our parents')
-
Comparison Level for Alternatives (CLalt)
- Part of social exchange perspective
- **What you could expect in another relationship**
- Outcomes we'd expect from another relationship based on our current relationship
- Affected by level of satisfaction in your relationship, how you see other relationships, and your self-esteem
-
Turning Points / Negotiations
- Either lead to deeper levels of intimacy/involvement or end of relationship
- Done thru conversations or secret tests
- Comes in as part of the deeper levels of intimacy
- Negotiate new rules/expectations
-
Dependence
- Degree to which we come to rely on our partner for relationship outcomes
- Needs to be balanced!
- Looking for the "house of cards" metaphor, where both members are leaning on each other
-
Interdependence
- Aka- "high mutual dependence"
- Enables each partner to act in the best interest of the other
- Accomplishes the "house of cards" metaphor
- What you do affects each other
-
"Internal Working Model"
- Bowlby
- How we think relationships work
- How worthy we think we are
- How much we trust other people
-
Secure Attachment
- Looking for another secure person
- Know you can trust others
- Consistent early care
- Still separate people, know what they contribute, Are will to contribute
-
Avoidant Attachment
- Can't trust anyone to meet needs
- Might look for another avoidant person- will both take care of their own needs
- Neglectful early care
-
Anxious-Ambivalent Attachment
- Inconsistent early care
- Clinginess & suspicion
|
|