Master Harold

  1. I'm getting it. The quickstep. Look now and tell me. Well?
    Show me again.
  2. Okay, count for me.
  3. Ready.
    Five, six, seven, eight. . . And one two three four... and one two three four... Your shoulders, Willie ... your shoulders! Don't look down! Look happy, Willie! Relax, Willie!
  4. I am relax.
    No, you're not.
  5. Ag no man, Sam! Mustn't talk. You make me make mistakes.
    But you're too stiff.
  6. Yesterday I'm not I'm too stiff!
    Well, you are. You asked me and I'm telling you.
  7. Where?
    Everywhere. Try to glide through it.
  8. Glide?
    Ja, make it smooth. And give it more style. It must look like you're enjoying yourself.
  9. I wasn't.
  10. How can I enjoy myself? Not straight, too stiff and now it's.....Haai! It's hard to remember all those things, Boet Sam.
    That's your trouble. You're trying too hard.
  11. I try hard because it is hard.
    But don't let me see it. The secret is to make it look easy. Ballroom must look happy, Willie, not like hard work. It must...Ja! must look like romance.
  12. Now another one! What's romance?
    Love story with happy ending. A handsome man in tails, and in his arms, smiling at him, a beautiful lady in evening dress!
  13. Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers.
    You got it. Tapdance or ballroom, it's the same. Romance. In two weeks time when the judges look at you and Hilda, they must see a man and a woman who are dancing their way to a happy ending. What I saw was you holding her like you were frightened she was going to run away.
  14. Ja! Because that is what she wants to do! I got no romance left for Hilda anymore, Boet Sam.
    Then pretend. When you put your arms around her, imagine she is Ginger Rogers.
  15. With no teeth? You try.
    Well, just remember, there's only two weeks left.
  16. I know. I know! I do it better with music. You got sixpence for Sarah Vaughn?
    That's a slow foxtrot. You're practicing the quickstep.
  17. I'll practice slow foxtrot.
    It's your turn to put money in the jukebox.
  18. I only got busfare to go home...Hilda Samuels is a bitch! Hey, Boet Sam!
  19. You listening?
  20. So what you say?
    About Hilda?
  21. Ja.
    When did you last give her a hiding?
  22. Sunday night.
    And today is Thursday.
  23. Okay.
    Hiding on Sunday night, then Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday she doesn't come to practice...and you are asking me why?
  24. I said okay, Boet Sam!
    You hit her too much. One day she's going to leave you for good.
  25. So? She makes me the hell in too much.
    Too much and too hard. You had the same trouble with Eunice.
  26. Because she also make me the hell in. She never got the steps right. Even the waltz.
    Beating her up every time she makes a mistake in the waltz? No, Willie! That takes the pleasure out of ballroom dancing.
  27. Hilda is not too bad with the waltz, Boet Sam. Is the quickstep where the trouble starts.
    How's your pillow with the quickstep?
  28. Good! And why? Because it got no legs...Haaikona, Boet Sam, is not funny.
    I got it! Give her a handicap.
  29. What's that?
    Give her a ten second start and then let Count Basie go. Then I put my money on her. Hot favorite in the Ballroom Stakes: Hilda Samuels ridden by Willie Malopo.
  30. I'm not talking to you no more.
    Sorry, Willie!
  31. It's finish between us.
    Okay, okay...I'll stop.
  32. You can also fuck off.
    Willie, listen! I want to help you!
  33. No more jokes?
    I promise.
  34. Okay. Help me.
    Look and learn. Feet together. Back straight. Body relaxed. Right hand placed gently on the small of her back and wait for the music. Don't start worrying about the judges or the other competitors. It's just you Hilda and the music, and you're going to have a good time. What Count Basie do you play?
  35. "You the cream in my coffee, you the salt in my stew."
    Right. Give it to me strict tempo.
  36. Ready?
  37. Bravo! No question about it. First place goes to Mr. Sam Semela.

    You was gliding with style, Boet Sam.

    How's it chaps?
    Okay, Hally.
  38. At your service, Master Harold!

    Not long to the big event, hey!
    Two weeks
  39. You nervous?
  40. You think you stand a chance?
    Let's just say I'm ready to go out there and dance.
  41. It looked like it. What about you, Willie? What's the matter?
    He's got leg trouble.
  42. Oh, sorry to hear that, Willie.

    Boet Sam! You promised.

    God, what a lousy day. It's coming down...but it also means we're in for a nice quiet afternoon.
    You can speak loud. Your mom's not here.
  43. Out shopping?
    No. The hospital.
  44. But it's Thursday. There's no visiting on Thursday afternoons. Is my Dad okay?
    Sounds like it. In fact, I think he's going home.
  45. What do you mean?
    The hospital phoned.
  46. To say what?
    I don't know. I just heard your mom talking.
  47. So what makes you say he's going home?
    It sounded as if they were her to come and fetch him.
  48. When did she leave?
    About an hour ago. She said she would phone you. Want to eat? Hally, you want your lunch?
  49. I suppose so. What's on the menu? As if I didn't know.
    Soup, followed by meat pie and gravy.
  50. Today's?
  51. And the soup?
    Nourishing pea soup.
  52. Just the soup. And these?
    For your Dad. Mr. Kempston brought them.
  53. You haven't been reading them, have you?
    Just looking.
  54. But what about Hilda?
    She's the one who's got trouble with her legs.
  55. What sort of trouble, Willie?
    From the way he describes it, I think the lady has gone a bit lame.
  56. Good God! Have you taken her to see a doctor?
    I think a vet would better.
  57. What do you mean?
    What do call it again when a racehorse goes very fast?
  58. Gallop?
    That's it!

    Boet Sam!
  59. A gallop down the homestretch to the winning post. But what's that got to do with Hilda?
    Count Basie always gets there first.
  60. Tell me exactly what my mom said.
    I have. When Hally comes, tell him I've gone to the hospital and I'll phone him.
  61. She didn't say anything about taking my Dad home?
    No. It's just that when she was talking on the phone...
  62. No, Sam They can't be discharging long ago did you say she left?
    Just before two...hour and a half.
  63. I know how to settle it...You definitely heard wrong.
    Okay. Who is this supposed to be?
  64. Old fart-face Prentice.
  65. He thinks he is. And believe me, that is not a bad likeness.
    Has he seen it?
  66. Yes.
    What did he say?
  67. Tried to be clever...six of the best and his are bloody good.
    On your bum?
  68. Where else? The days where I got them on my hands are gone forever, Sam.
    With your trouser down!
  69. No. He's not that barbaric.
    That's the way they do it in jail.
  70. Really?
    Ja. When the magistrate sentences you to strokes with a light cane.
  71. Go on.
    They make you lie down on a bench. One policeman pulls down your trousers and holds your ankles, another one pulls your shirt over your head and holds your arms...
  72. Thank you. That's enough.
    ...and the one who gives you the strokes talks to you gently and for a long time between each one.
  73. I've heard enough, Sam! Jesus! It's a bloody awful world when you come to think of it. People can be real bastards.
    That's the way it is, Hally.
  74. It doesn't have to be that way...we don't exactly burn people at the stake anymore.
    Like Joan of Arc.
  75. Correct. If she was captured today, she'd be given a fair trail.
    And then the death sentence.
  76. I know. I know. ...kick up the backside and get it going again.
    Like who?
  77. They're called social reformers...My history book is full of them.
    So, where's ours?
  78. Good question...God, what a thought.
    So we just go on waiting.
  79. Ja. Looks like it.
    Introduction: In some mathematical problems only the magnitude.
  80. Magnitude.
    What's it mean?
  81. How big it is. The size of the thing.
    ...magnitude of the quantities is of importance. In other problems we need to know whether these quantities are negative or positive. For example, whether there is a debit or credit bank balance...
  82. Whether you're broke or not.
    ...whether the temperature is above or below Zero...
  83. Naught degree. Cheerful state of affairs! No cash and you're freezing to deah. Mathematics won't get you out of that one.
    "All these quantities are called... s-c-a-l
  84. Scalars.
    Scalars! You understand all that?
  85. No. And I don't intend to try.
    So what happens when exams come?
  86. Failing a maths exam isn't the end of the world, Sam. How many times have I told you that examination results don't measure intelligence?
    I would say about as many times as you've failed one of them.
  87. Ha, ha, ha.
    • (Simultaneously)
    • Ha, ha, ha.
  88. Just remember Winston Churchill didn't do particularly well at school.
    You've also told me that one many times.
  89. Well, it just so happens to be the truth.
    Magnitude! Magnitude! Show me how to use it.
  90. An intrepid social reformer will not be daunted by the magnitude of the task he has undertaken.
    Couple of jawbreakers in there!
  91. I gave you three for the price of one. Intrepid, daunted and magnitude. I did that once in an exam. Put five of the words I had to explain in one sentence. it was a half a page long.
    Well, Ill put my money on you in the English exam.
  92. Piece of cake. Eighty percent without even trying.
    And history?
  93. So-so. I'll scrape through. In the fifties if I'm lucky.
    You didn't do badly last year.
  94. Because we had World War One. That at least had some action. You try to find that in the South African Parliamentary system.
    Napoleon and the principle of equality. Hey! This sounds interesting. After concluding peace with Britain in 1802, Napoleon used a brief period of calm to institute...
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Master Harold
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