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HARVEY: I was joking with, Jane. Obviously. I was just spreading a little Christmas cheer.
Welcome. Welcome all.
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HARVEY: Here's your Uncle Paul, Eddie, looking sleek as a seal and rich as a Rockefeller from his wise investments.
Tip me hello, Eddie.
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EDDIE: Hello, Uncle Paul
Come in, come in.
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EDDIE: Hey! I don't see a Christmas tree.
Your grandmother decided not to have one this year. Because of her heart.
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JANE: So where is Queen Victoria?
Tipping her presents in the music room.
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HARVEY: I'll tip her hello.
Ah, yes!
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EDDIE: Her drawers?
JANE: Her bureau drawers, Eddie.
EDDIE: Oh.
I always give mother jewelry.
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GRANDMOTHER: Oh Charley.
Ah hah! I hear Annie tipping the ice for our cocktails.
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HARVEY: And I hope she'll tip us some of Nellie's toasted cheese crackers to go with it.
There's caviar, too. I already tipped some in the kitchen.
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HARVEY: Shall we tip ourselves a cocktail, everyone? Shall we gather around the sacred fount?
May I make you a cocktail, Mother?
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HARVEY: Aren't we having wine this year, Father?
Mother won't allow it.
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GRANDMOTHER: I see no reason to have wine, dear. Everyone's had one cocktail, and that's more than enough alcohol for anyone.
The good French wines are beginning to arrive in New York again, Mother.
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HARVEY: Whatever we are, we're going strong, Father. ... There are so many jobs available that the Negroes have arrived in droves from down South, and are making more money than they ever made before.
Surely you're pleased, Father.
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HARVEY: Thank God you never have to, Mother.
I have to admit some people don't like it here. I was in the steam room with Frank Applegate the other day ...
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GRANDMOTHER: Paul adores that steam room...
The point is Frank announced he was moving to California. "Why, Frank?" I asked. "Why on earth would anyone want to leave Buffalo? And he said it was our weather."
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GRANDMOTHER: We have lovely weather.
He was thinking of our snow, Mother.
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GRANDFATHER: We've painted ourselves into a corner.
You mean geographically, Father?
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GRANDFATHER: Well it's up to you boys to come up with something else.
Easier said than done, Father. I'm going to tip another drink.
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HARVEY: Tip me one, too, please.
Excuse me, Mother.
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GRANDMOTHER: I'm sure it's a very good game. But it does not allow people to express their god-given talents. Everyone in the world should be able to do something after dinner.
Otherwise it's not a party, it's simply a meal.
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GRANDMOTHER: What happened? I'm not sure what happened.
Lie down on the floor, Lambert... Put your feet up on a chair.
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LAMBERT: I don't want any candy.
Did I hear a "no thank you" on that?
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GRANDMOTHER: You disobeyed me, Harvey!
Let me feel your pulse, Mother.
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GRANDMOTHER: We don't disovey our mothers! We don't throw things in the fire!
Shall I call Annie, Mother.
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GRANDFATHER: She'll get over it. Always does.
Do you need your pills, Mother?
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GRANDMOTHER: I can't talk to you, harvey! I can't look at you! I have to lie down.
I'll get Annie.
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GRANDMOTHER: Now I don't know what to think.
Maybe it's better for you to tip.
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GRANDMOTHER: I'm terribly sorry, but my heart is too heavy to give anyone a good night kiss.
Should we call Doctor Russell?
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