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Kitchen Sinking
Throwing accusations that have little to do with the situation at hand; storing up info
Ex- Lily and Marshall fighting over the dishes, then Marshall saying he works harder, then the bathroom, then how Marshall's mother doesn't like Lily
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Stages of Conflict
Unfolds over time and determined by the communication choices we make
It is strongly shaped by our perception
Conflicts are rooted in our perceptions regarding goals and resources
- Every day disputes- I want to see this movie or I'm not going
- Serious arguments- I want to raise our children as this specific religion
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Silent Treatment
- Type of Conflict
- Characterized by one partner's silence across two or more encounters
- Ex "............."
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Sarcastic Sniping
- Type of conflict
- Marked by exchanges of hostile sarcasm
- Ex "How can you afford that? Did you win the lottery?"
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Mock
- Type of Conflict
- Playful in Intent
- Ex "We're just joking"
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Indirect
- Type of conflict
- Not discussed or explicitly recognized by participants
- Ex "The tension is so thick, you can cut it with a knife"
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Deja Vu
- Type of conflict
- Follows and predictable and repeated pattern
- Ex. "Oh no, here we go again"
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Civil
- Type of conflict
- Calmly and rationally discussed by participants
- Ex "Let's talk this through, we can figure it out"
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Blow- up
- Type of conflict
- Erupts suddenly and involves heated emotional exchanges
- Ex "I've had it! Get out of my face or you will be sorry!"
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Types of conflict
- Blow- up
- Civil
- Deja Vu
- Indirect
- Mock
- Sarcastic sniping
- Silent treatment
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Reverse culture shock
May happen when you return to your own culture or break up. Need to become accustomed to old culture again
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Example of adjustment
Barney and Robin have not yet reached this stage. They're starting to talk and get into the "real" stuff, but they aren't ready yet (Sex in the elevator to avoid fighting)
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Adjustment
Third stage of culture shock; grow accustomed to the new culture and develop routines. Things become natural. Culture makes sense
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Example of Negotiation
Barney and Robin having to be accountable for their actions; fighting about the ties or the box of underwear
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Negotiation
Second stage of culture shock; Differences between old and new culture become apparent; may create anxiety. Depression is not uncommon
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Example of honeymoon
Barney and Robin- everything is perfect, they never fight, they're the "perfect couple"
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Honeymoon
First stage of culture shock; Differences between the old and new culture as seen in a romantic light as wonderful and new. Full of observations and discoveries. Can include food and customs
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3 stages of culture shock
- Honeymoon
- Negotiation
- Adjustment
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Conflict
A transaction process between people who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, or interference in achieving their objectives
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