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Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist. - Pablo Picasso
- It's possible to have too much of a good thing. In excess, most endeavors and possessions take on the characteristics of their opposite. Thus:
- Pacifists become militants
- Freedom fighters become tyrants
- Blessings become curses
- Help becomes hindrance
- More becomes less.
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There is no difference between a pessimist who says, "Oh, it's hopeless, so don't bother doing anything," and an optimist who says, "Don't bother doing anything, it's going to turn out fine anyway." Either way, nothing happens.
-- Yvon Chouinard, founder of Patagonia
- The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
- -- George Bernard Shaw, Maxims for Revolutionists.
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"Just as words are inadequate to explain true happiness, so too are words inadequate to express my thanks."
Perfection is not when there is no more to add, but no more to take away.
What gets measured gets managed - Peter Drucker
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Parkinson's Law dictates that a task will swell in (perceived) importance and complexity in relation to the time allotted for its completion. It is the magic of the imminent deadline. If I give you 24 hours to complete a project, the time pressure forces you to focus on execution, and you have no choice but to do only the bare essentials. If I give you a week to complete the same tasks, it's six days of making a mountain out of a molehill. If I give you two months, God forbid, it becomes a mental monster. The end product of the shorter deadline is almost inevitably of equal or higher quality due to greater focus.
- There are two synergistic approaches for increasing productivity that are inversion of each other:
- 1. Limit tasks to the important to shorten work time (80/20)
- 2. Shorten work time to limit tasks to the important (Parkinson's Law).
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Learn to ask, "If this is the only thing I accomplish today, will I be satisfied with my day?"
Compile your to-do list for tomorrow no later than this evening.
There should never be more than two mission-critical items to complete each day.
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Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.
-- Albert Einstein
Lifestyle design is based on massive action - output. Increased output necessitates decreased input. Most information is time-consuming, negative, irrelevant to your goals, and outside of your influence.
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"Excuse me. I know this is going to sound strange, but I don't ask you now, I'll be kicking myself for the rest of the day. I'm running to meet a friend [i.e., I have friends and am not a stalker], but I think you're really cute [gorgeous, hot]. Could I have your phone number? I'm not a psycho - I promise. You can give me a fake one if you're not interested."
- Ask that person to send you an email with an agenda to define the purpose:
- "That sounds doable. So I can best prepare, can you please send me an email with an agenda? That is, the topics and questions we'll need to address? That would be great. Thanks in advance."
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For some reason, the Colorado Tourism Board emails me all the time. I request that Honey gently ask them to stop with the press releases. Here's what she sent:
- Dear All,
- Jacobs often receives mail from Colorado news, too often. They are definitely interesting topics. However, these topics are not suitable for "Esquire."
- Further, we do understand that you have taken a lot of initiatives working on these articles and sending it to us. We understand. Unfortunately, these articles and mails are too time consuming to be read.
- Currently, these mails are not serving right purpose for both of us. Thus, we request to stop sending these mails.
- We do not mean to demean your research work by this.
- We hope you understand too.
- Thanking you.
- Honey K B
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Criticism Sandwich: you first praise the person for something, then deliver the criticism, and then close with topic-shifting praise to exit the sensitive topic. Here's an example with a superior or boss, with keywords and phrases in italics.
- You: Hi, Mara. Do you have a second?
- Mara: Sure. What's up?
- You: First, I want to thank you for helping me with the Meelie Worm account. I really appreciate you showing me how to handle that. You're really good at fixing the technical issues.
- Mara: No problem.
- You: Here's the thing. [Don't call it a problem if you can avoid it.] There is a lot of work coming down on everyone, and I'm feeling [No one can argue with your feelings, so use this to avoid a debate about external circumstances.] a bit overwhelmed. Normally, priorities are really clear to me, [Notice how I take "you" out of the sentence to avoid finger-pointing, even though it's implicit. "Normally, you make priorities clear" sounds like a backhanded insult. If this is a significant other, you can skip this formality, but never use "you always do X," which is just a fight starter.] but I've been having trouble recently figuring out which tasks are highest on the list. Could you help me by pointing out the most important items when a handful need to be done? I'm sure it's just me,[Take a little bit of the heat off with this. The point has already been made.] but I'd really appreciate it, and I think it would help.
- Mara: Uhh …I'll see what I can do.
- You: That means a lot to me. Thanks. Before I forget, ["Before I forget" is a great segue to the closing compliment, which is also a topic shifter and gets you off the sensitive topic without awkwardness.] last week's presentation was excellent.
- Mara: Did you think so? Blah blah...
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Unknown answerer: This is Acme Inc.
You: Hi, this is Tim Ferris calling for John Grisham, please.
Answerer: May I ask what this is regarding?
You: Sure. I know this might sound a bit odd, [I use this type of lead-in whenever making off-the-wall requests. It softens it and makes the person curious enough to listen before splitting out an automatic "no".] but I'm a first-time author and just read his interview in Time Out New York. [This answers the questions they'll have in their head: "Who are you and why are you calling now?" I like to be a "first-time" something to play the sympathy card, and I find a recent media feature online to cite as the trigger for calling.] I'm a longtime [I call people I'm familiar with. If you can't call yourself a longtime fan, tell them that you have followed the mentor's career or business exploits for a certain number of years.] fan and have finally built up the courage to [Don't pretend to be strong. Make it clear you're nervous and they'll lower their guard. I often do this even if I'm not nervous.] call him for one specific piece of advice. It wouldn't take more than 2 minutes of his time. Is there any way you can help me get through to him? [The wording here is critical. Ask them to "help" you do something.] I really, really appreciate whatever you can do.
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Before making your final selection, ask for at least three client references and use the following to elicit the negatives: "I understand they're good, but everyone has weaknesses. If you had to point out where you've had some issues and what they're not the best at, what would you say? Can you please describe an incident or a disagreement? I expect these with all companies, so it's no big deal, and it's confidential, of course."
If you don't make mistakes, you're not working on hard enough problems. And that's a big mistake.
-- Frank Wilczek, 2004 Nobel Prize winner in Physics
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Mistake 9 - Striving for endless perfection rather than great or simply good enough, whether in your personal or professional life.
Most endeavors are like learning to speak a foreign language: to be correct 95% of the time requires 6 months of concentrated effort, whereas to be correct 98% of the time requires 20-30 years. Focus on great for a few things and good enough for the rest. Perfection is a good ideal and direction to have, but recognize it for what it is: an impossible destination.
Don't postpone decisions just to avoid uncomfortable conversations
If an acquaintance asks you if you want to come to their house for dinner next week, and you know you won't , don't say, "I'm not sure. I'll let you know next week." Instead, use something soft but conclusive like, "Next week? I'm pretty sure I have another commitment on Thursday, but thank you for the invite. Just so I don't leave you hanging, let's assume I can't make it, but can I let you know if that changes?" Decision made. Move on.
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Slow Dance
Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-around?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask: How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done,
do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
- You'd better slow down.
- Don't dance so fast.
- Time is short.
- The music won't last.
- Ever told your child,
- We'll do it tomorrow?
- Ever lost touch,
- Let a good friendship die
- Cause you never had time
- To call and say "Hi"?
- You'd better slow down.
- Don't dance so fast.
- Time is short.
- The music won't last.
- When you run so fast to get somewhere
- You miss half the fun of getting there.
- When you worry and hurry through your day.
- It is like an unopened gift thrown away.
- Life is not a race.
- Do take it slower.
- Here the music
- Before the song is over.
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Being busy is not the same as being productive.
"Your thoughtfulness in bringing this to the attention of the Air Force is appreciated."
Books to check out "Secrets of Power Negotiating: Inside Secrets from a Master Negotiator" Roger Dawson
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