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In a discussion in which you've been pushing hard and suspect you might be wrong, begin to argue your point less and listen to the other side more. Buy some time by saying something like: "That's an interesting point; I need to think about it some more."
So next time you look at an employee, ask yourself, What's changed? Instead of focusing on what she's doing wrong, try looking for something new she does right that you never noticed before. Same thing for any relationship you're in.
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She wasn't painfully ordinary; she was amazingly extraordinary.
When an unsettling event occurs, pause before reacting. In that pause, ask yourself a single question: What is the outcome I want? Then, instead of reacting to the event, react to the outcome.
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If someone yells at your, pause before yelling back. Then ask yourself what outcome you want. If the answer is "An improved relationship," don't yell back. Instead, in a normal voice, empathize with their anger and ask some questions about the concerns raised in the midst of the screaming. That's a reaction that will achieve a better relationship.
Each morning I set my watch to beep every hour. At the sound of the chime, I take one minute to ask myself if the last hour has been productive. Then during that pause, I deliberately commit to how I'm going to use the next hour. It's a way to keep myself focused on doing what I committed to doing.
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Ask yourself 3 sets of questions:
1) How did the day go? What success did I experience? What challenges did I endure?
2) What did I learn today? About myself? about others? What do I plan to do - differently or the same - tomorrow?
3) Whom did I interact with? Anyone I need to update? Thank? Ask a question of? Share feedback with?
- When someone comes to you with a request, ask yourself 3 questions:
- 1) Am I the right person?
- 2) Is this the right time?
- 3) Do I have enough information?
If the request fail the test - if the answer to any one of these questions is no - then don't do it. Pass it to someone else (the right person), schedule it for another time (the right time), or wait until you have the information you need (either you or someone else needs to get it).
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If there's something you need to do that you find difficult - writing a proposal, having an unpleasant conversation with someone, or doing any work you consider unpleasant - try doing it first thing in the morning so you minimize the time you have to think about it.
The rule is simple: When you wan to do something, focus. When you don't want to do something, distract.
Give him the task and then ask: Why won't this work for you? When he answers, you respond: That's a good point. So how can you change it to make it work.
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