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What is reflected appraisal?
When we develop our self understanding from feedback
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What is social comparison?
When we compare our actions and outcomes to others' actions and outcomes
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What is a mask that changes depending on the audience and the variety of social interaction?
Face
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What is the image of self presented to others the person wants to have accepted?
face
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Describe the decorum norm?
Specifies that people should present themselves in ways the conform with standards of proper behavior | people should obey rules for moral and polite kinds of behaviors and actions
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What is facework?
Actions we use to make others see us in the way in which we want them to see us
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What is self-handicapping?
When one appears to be incompetent so that the performance seems better than expected
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What are the self-presentation strategies?
- 1. Self-promotion
- 2. Exemplification
- 3. Power
- 4. Ingratiation
- 5. Identification
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What is impression management (aka. strategic self-presentation)?
a conscious attempt to control selected behaviors in order to make a desired impression on a particular audience
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What is Goffman's concpet of the Moral Order and Line?
socially constructed set of understandings that we carry with us from situation to situation ... guides what is right or wrong based off patterns set of personal actions
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What is the personal identity?
- Involves the individual self and others
- ie. Who am I? Who are you?
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What is the relational identity?
- consists of expectations negotiated within a very small group, usually two individuals.
- ie. Who are we together?
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Who are we as a community?
- involves a larger group like a group, culture, organization, and systems of all types
- ie. Who are we all?
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What another name that Goffman's approach to identity?
Dramaturgical Metaphor
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What is the goal of ingratiation?
To appear likeable
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What is altercentrism?
focusing on others
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What is the risk of ingratiation?
lack of authenticity
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What is the ingratiators dilemma?
the more you need someone to like you, the harder it is to use ingratiation strategies
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What is the goal of power strategies?
to appear more or less powerful than your audience (or the other person)
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What are the types of power strategies and what are their goals?
Intimidation - goal is to appear powerful and threatening
Supplication - goal is to appear to weak, helpless, dependent on others
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What are the risks of using intimidation power strategies?
People may alienate you, people may fear you instead of like you
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What are the risks of using supplication power strategies?
can cause you to look incompetent; cause resentment
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What is the goal of self promotion?
to appear, competent, knowledgeable, important
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What are the risks to using self-promotion strategies?
you can appear self absorbed or like you're bragging
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What is the goal of exemplification?
to appear as having high moral standards, commitment to a worthy cause, or as a role model to others
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What are the risks of exemplification strategies?
when they fail they can be seen as hypocritical
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What is an account?
A verbal message we offer when we feel our actions are being evaluated or judged
Linguistic device used to repair a damaged identity
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What are corrective frameworks?
- excuses
- justifications
- concession/apologies
- refusal
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What is the goal of an excuse?
remove responsibility for the action in question
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What is the goal of justification?
provides a reason for engaging in the questionable action
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What is the goal of refusal?
to claim innocence or deny that the speaker is the source of the offending behavior
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What is the goal of concessions/apologies?
to gain forgiveness for the offending action
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What are the functions served by accounts?
- to repair relational damages
- to maintain public image
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Which type of account is usually least helpful in repairing relationships?
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What does it mean to be "out of face"?
When
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What are ways to be caught in "wrong face"?
- 1. when you're caught intentionally violating the moral order
- 2. when you perform a role that violates the expressive order by playing a role that is inconsistent with the occasion
- 3. when you're caught performing a role that doesn't sustain the line a person takes with others
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What does it mean to be in "wrong face"?
when information becomes available that makes it difficult or impossible to claim the desired identity
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What does it mean to be "out of face"?
when you are unable to put forth an expected image
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What are ways to be caught in "out of face"?
- 1. when you don't know how to act
- 2. when there are no clear norms
- 3. when you don't know the cultural norms
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What is positive face?
the desire for approval
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What are the two types of positive face? What do role do they play?
fellowship face - need to be accepted and approved by others
competence face - need to seen as a competent social actor
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What is negative (autonomy face)?
need to be free from obligation or imposition need to be on equal footing, freedom to choose for oneself
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What is facework?
a set of coordinated communication practices that build, maintain, protect, or threaten personal dignity, honor, and respect
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What is the moral order in our culture that requires people to show proper deference and respect for the identity each person wants to claim?
Facework
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How does power, distance, and rank influence politeness and facework?
We are more polite to strangers (those that are socially distant from us), and to those that are ranked higher than us or more powerful than us.
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What does it mean to go off the record with a face-threatening act?
to avoid directly confronting the person and threatenng face concerns (being indirect ie. do you want a mint? - your breath stinks)
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What does it mean to go on the record with a face-threatening act?
using politeness (ie. Want to help me move? I'll give you pizza.)
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How are attributions related to effectiveness of accounts?
the attribution theory helps to explain how people will interpret failed performance
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What is the difference between postitive/negative face and positive/negative politeness?
Positive/negative face is what we choose to display to others
Positive/negative politeness is the way in which we support someone else's face and avoid face-threatening act
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What are the differences between American and Japanese responses to embarrassment?
Japanese are more embarrassed on average than American, feel great embarrassment that last longer and the use of humor to diffuse the embarrassment is non existent
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What are three differences in politeness behaviors between the US and UK?
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What is social attraction?
when a person has connections, very easy to make a person like you, want to be friends
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What is task attraction?
when your doing the same work, you choose someone that looks competent or smarter
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What is physical/romantic attraction?
when you have feelings for someone, sexual attraction
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When does ideal attractiveness make a difference and when is it less important?
when people don't interact it is more important, but once you meet someone it becomes less important
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Which conversational openings appear to be the most and least effective and appropriate as rated by college students?
third party introductions are most effective
cute-flippant lines are least effective
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What is strategic self presentation and what are some tactics people use to present themselves favorably to a potential mate?
people tend to present themselves on
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How is supportiveness related to relationship initiation?
- it communicates care and concern
- it focuses on the other person
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What is relationship turbulence?
a sense of chaos and strong emotional reactions when relationships transition and interdependence increase or one is unsure how to behave in the new relationship or less certain about their decisions
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How do dating apps and the degree of choice it presents reduce relationship stability?
causes people to worry that you're not making the right choice
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What are relational turning points?
any event or occurrence that is associated with a change in relationship
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What are types of turning points?
- getting to know the other person
- spending more quality time together
- being apart from distance
- perceiving competition from another person
- reunion after distance separation
- disengagement (breaking up)
- exclusivity (agreeing not to date others)
- making up after a disagreement
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What are the most common flirting behaviors?
nonverbal behaviors
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What role do our noses play in attraction?
It picks up on natural chemicals known as pheromones
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Who are the most successful people in speed dating and who are the least successful?
- people that are eager to be likeable are least effective
- people that are more selective are more effective
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What are the five stages of flirtation/courtship process?
- build rapport
- strategic self presentation
- self disclosure
- seek similarity
- supportiveness
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What are centripetal forces?
keep systems together
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What are centrifugal forces?
Pushes systems apart
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What is equity?
a comparison of what individuals put in and obtain within a relationship
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How does being under-benefited influence a partner's use of relational maintenance behaviors?
They're less motivated to use them; decrease rewards they provide them; have negative emotional response towards partner
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What are the five most important relational maintenance strategies discussed in the text?
- Positivity
- Openness
- Assurances
- Social networks
- Sharing tasks
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What does commitment mean?
- Intention to remain in a relationship
- Tendency to accommodate
- Derogation of alternatives
- Willingness to sacrifice
- Perceived superiority (stability)
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How does commitment influence relational maintenance?
- It transforms motivations for actions
- It shifts a partner's motivation from self to relationship
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What are the three elements that influence commitment?
Loyalty, trust (dependability), exclusivity
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What are behaviors such as acting cheerful, being courteous, and refraining from criticism?
Positivity
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What is the attempt to maintain relationships by discussing relational goals, disclosing their feelings on the relationship, reminding each other of the rules made in the past, and having periodic talks about the relationship and discussing important topics?
Openness
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What is called when communicators show they are faithful, stressing their commitment to the relationship, and clearly implying that the relationship has a future?
Assurances
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What is it called when relationships have a social support from family and friends?
Social networks
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What is it when partners share the work in the relationship or do things because the other partner has an interest in it?
Sharing tasks
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Why is it important for a husband to share household tasks with his wife?
it demonstrates fairness and helps maintain the relationship; it implies that they are all equal; illustrates equity
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What are the four problems Leymiller identifies in the study that showed men who do traditionally women's chores had less sex than men who didn't?
- 1. It was a correlational study
- 2. The researches only looked at heterosexual couples
- 3. Although gendered housework was linked to more sex, it didn't translate to a huge increase
- 4. Sex wasn't defined
- 5. It wasn't clear if the high frequency also resulted in sexual satisfaction as well
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What are the differences in the way romantic and platonic relationships are maintained?
- platonic opposite sex relationships are maintained less than romantic ones
- Platonic friends engaged in the same amount of maintenance as true FWBs
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What is the role of resources in social exchange theory?
the resources constitute rewards when they provide pleasure and costs when they provoke pain, anxiety, embarrassment, or mental and physical effort
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What is the social exchange theory?
it is based on the give and take of resources
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What is Adam's concept of distributive justice?
it contends that people think and act so that rewards are distributed in accordance with their efforts
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What is the difference between comparison level and comparison level for alternatives?
comparison level - the standard an individual uses to judge how attractive or satisfactory of a particular relationship
comparison level for alternatives is the lowest level of rewards deemed acceptable when considering possible alternative relationships
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What are the five principles of maintaining a healthy marriage?
- Enhance your love maps
- Nurture, fondness, and admiration
- Turn toward each other (not against)
- Allow your partner to influence you
- Solve solvable problems
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What can be described as ignoring, interrupting, or giving only minimal response to bid for connection?
turning away
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What can be described as making hurtful, disrespectful, or defensive comments?
turning against
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What can be described as the agreement or enthusiasm of a partner to bid for connection?
turning towards
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What are the benefits of turning towards partners?
- builds trust
- reduces conflict intensity
- creates the feeling that your partner understands you
- builds friendship systems
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Which maintenance strategy involves not criticizing the partner?
positivity
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What are the three primary forms of dialectical tensions?
- Integration/separation
- Stability/change
- Expression/privacy
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What is a form of dialectical tension that entails how involved people want to be in another's life?
integration/separation
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What is a form of dialectical tension that entails how people desire continuity and variation?
Stability/change
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What is a form of dialectical tension that entails people's desire to share experiences but also still want their privacy?
Expression/privacy
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