Mater of the House

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Welcome, M'sieur Sit yourself down
And meet the best Innkeeper in town
As for the rest All of 'em crooks
Rooking their guests And cooking the books

Seldom do you see Honest men like me A gent of good intent Who's content to be
- Master of the house Doling out the charm
- Ready with a handshake And an open palm
- Tells a saucy tale Makes a little stir
- Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
- Glad to do a friend a favor
- Doesn't cost me to be nice
- But nothing gets you nothing
- Everything has got a little price!
Master of the house keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two Watering the wine Making up the weight Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight

Everybody loves a landlord Everybody's bosom friend I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
- Thenardier & Drinkers:
- Master of the house Quick to catch yer eye Never wants a passerby To pass him by Servant to the poor Butler to the great Comforter, philosopher, And lifelong mate! Everybody's boon companion Everybody's chaperone
Thenardier:
But lock up your valises
Jesus!
Won't I skin you to the bone!
- Lay down your load
- Unlace your boots
- And rest from the road
- This weighs a ton
- Travel's a curse
- But here we strive
- To lighten your purse
Here the goose is cooked
Here the fat is fried
And nothing's overlooked
Till I'm satisfied
- Food beyond compare
- Food beyond belief
- Mix it in a mincer
- And pretend it's beef
- Kidney of a horse
- Liver of a cat
- Filling up the sausages
- With this and that
Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side!
- Charge 'em for the lice
- Extra for the mice
- Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
- Here a little slice,there a little cut
- Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are a lots of tricks he knows
How it all increases
All those bits and pieces
Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
- Thenardier & Chorus:
- Master of the house
- Quick to catch yer eye
- Never wants a passerby To pass him by Servant to the poor
- Butler to the great
- Comforter, philosopher,
- And lifelong mate!
- Everybody's boon companion
- Gives 'em everything he's got
Dirty bunch of geezers
Jesus! What a sorry little lot!

Mme. Thenardier: I used to dream That I would meet a prince But God Almighty, Have you seen what's happened since? Master of the house? Isn't worth me spit! `Comforter, philosopher' - and lifelong shit! Cunning little brain Regular Voltaire Thinks he's quite a lover But there's not much there What a cruel trick of nature Landed me with such a louse God knows how I've lasted Living with this bastard in the house!
Thenardier & Drinkers:
Master of the house!
- Mme. Thenardier:
- Master and a half!
Thenardier & Drinkers:
Comforter, philosopher
- Mme. Thenardier:
- Don't make me laugh!
Thenardier & Drinkers:
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
- Mme. Thenardier:
- Hypocrite and toady
- And inebriate!
Thenardier & Drinkers:
Everybody bless the landlord!
Everybody bless his spouse!

Thenardier:
Everybody raise a glass!
- Mme. Thenardier:
- Raise it up the master's ass!
All:
Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house!

Author

brian

322170

Card Set

Mater of the House

Description

Mater

Updated

2016-08-02T21:19:45Z

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