Chapter 11: Relationships

  1. a mutual relationship in which those involved influence one another's behaviors and beliefs
  2. A friendship has to be __ and __. 

    What is friendship quality?
    give and take

    the satisfaction derived from the relationship
  3. What are the many benefits to friendships?
    support through adulthood

    boosts self-esteem, happiness, and socializes us into new roles
  4. Three broad themes underlie adult friendships. What are they?
    affective or emotional basis

    shared or communal nature

    sociability and compatibility
  5. Affective or emotional basis
    this includes self-disclosure, expressions of intimacy, appreciation, affection, and support

    Based on trust, loyalty, and commitment
  6. Shared or communal nature
    friends participate in or support activities of mutual interest
  7. Sociability and compatibility
    friends keep us entertained and are sources of amusement, fun, and recreation
  8. Online Friendships--Based on 4 sources
    • reputation
    • performance online
    • pre-commitment through self-disclosre
    • situational factors

    online= more conducive for lonely people
  9. Why are friends so important to older adults?
    concerns about being a burden to their families; friends help each other foster independence

    older adults tend to have fewer relationships than people in mid-life and young adulthood
  10. Socioemotional selectivity
    • argues that social contact is motivated by a variety of goals including:
    • information seeking (young)
    • self-concept (tenn)
    • emotional regulation (older)

    **this theory says that we find friends for different reasons at different times in our lives**
  11. Men's and women's friendship tend to __.

    Women's friendships are based on __. 

    Men's friendships are based on __. 

    women tend to have __ than men.
    differ in adulthood

    • intimate emotional sharing
    • shared activities and interests
    • more friendships
  12. Friendships betwen men and women

    - what effect?
    - similar to what?
    - __ tend to be difficult to maintain due to __ and __
    beneficial effect, especially for men

    Similar to cross ethnic friendships

    cross-gender friendships tend to be difficult to maintain due to jealousy and misperceptions
  13. Sternberg Triangular theory of love
    3 major components: passion, intimacy, commitment

    Ideally, good love relationships have all three components: consumate love
  14. Intimacy + Passion
    romantic love
  15. Intimacy + Commitment
    companionate love
  16. Passion + Commitment
    fatuous love
  17. Intimacy+ Commitment+ Passion
    consummate love
  18. Sternberg Triangular Theory of Love:

    People who select a partner for more permanent relationship during the height of infatuation= __

    Length of relationships increase leads to __
    more likely to divorce

    intimacy and passion decrease

    commitment increases
  19. Falling in love:

    assortative mating__
    does the best job explaining the process of forming love relationships

    Selecting a mate works best when there are shared values, goals, and interests
  20. Homogamy
    the degree to which people are similar
  21. Proximity Phenomenon
    an increasing number of people meet online (1 in 5 couples in the US)
  22. The matching hypothesis
    you end up with someone who looks like you in terms of attractiveness
  23. Increasing trend=
    hookup sex

    3/4 regret the relationship
  24. Culture and Love
    culture is a powerful force in shaping mate selection choices

    Cultures with good health care, education, resources, and permit young adults to select mate= secure

    matchmaking still common in India (95% arranged) and Islamic societies
  25. Violence in relationships

    Abusive relationships occur when?
    when one person becomes aggressive toward the partner
  26. Battered woman syndrome
    belief that she cannot leave the abusive situation
  27. The causes of aggression become __. This is known as the __.
    more complex as the level of aggression increases

    continuum of aggressive behaviors (O'Leary)
  28. Continuum of aggressive behaviors
  29. Singlehood

    What does it mean to be single?
    Single: not living with an intimate partner
  30. People remain single for a variety of reasons. 
    - __ tend to stay single longer. However, fewer __ than __ remain unmarried throughout adulthood.
    • men
    • men
    • women
  31. Ethnic differences in singlehood
    nearly twice as many african americans are single during young adulthood as European americans
  32. The decision to never marry is __
    a gradual one
  33. Singlehood research says that 50% of those married are __ as opposed to 2% of the single population.
    caring, kind, giving
  34. Muslim women
    Jedoh--soul mate one finds through fate at a time appointed by God
  35. __ has been linked with single life.
    educational increases
  36. Cohabitation: __

    this is becoming an increasingly popular lifestyle choice: __ in 1970s compared to __ today in US
    in committed, intimate, sexual relationships without marriage

    • 523K
    • 5.5 mil
  37. Couples cohabitate for three main reasons
    convenience: sharing expenses, sexual accessibility, part-time or limited cohabitation

    engaging in a trial marriage with an intent on marrying: premarital cohabitation

    long-term commitment: lacking official sanction; substitute marriage
  38. Decisions to marry during cohabitation:
    1) Couples feel ready

    2) legalize relationship following birth of children (99% of couples live together prior to marriage)

    3) Confirm their love and commitment

    4) Ironically, cohabitation may be more harmful than beneficial
  39. Marriage

    - The median age at first marriage is __ and has done so over the last few decades. ( Around __ for men and __ for women)

    • 28
    • 26
  40. Marital success
    an umbrella term referring to any marital outcomes
  41. Marital quality
    a subjective evaluation of the couple's relationship
  42. Marital adjustment
    the degree spouses accommodate each other
  43. Marital satisfaction
    a global assessment of one's marriage; look at overall lifestyle
  44. Factors influencing marital success (7)
    1) Age of the two partners at the time of marriage; younger= lower odds

    2) financial security

    3) pregnancy at time of marriage (decrease in marital satisfaction)

    4) homogamy (marriage based on similarity in values and interests)

    5) feelings of equality: exchange theory (each partner contributes something to the relationship that the other would be hard pressed to provide)

    6) Characteristics such as trust, consulting each other, honesty, joint decisions, and commitment

    7) religion
  45. What is the trend for marital satisfaction?
    highest at the beginning

    falls until children leave the home

    rises later in life
  46. Vulnerability-stress adaptation model
    marital quality is a dynamic process resulting from the couple's ability to handle stressful events
  47. Disillusionment
    decline in love, demonstration of affection, nd responsiveness

    increase in ambivalence
  48. Setting the stage: The early years

    Early in marriage a couple must __. 

    As couples settle in a routine, __.

    __ tends to decline with the __, due to __.
    adjust to different perceptions and expectations

    marital satisfaction tends to decline

    marital satisfaction; birth of a child; temperament of the child and less time devoted to aprtner
  49. Divorce in the US is __. Rates are __ than many other countries. Higher education does what to divorce rates?
    • 50-50
    • higher
    • reduces divorce rate
  50. Gottman and Levenson model
    developed two models to predict divorce

    1) Early (within 7 years)--negative emotion during conflict: wife demands and husband withdraws

    2) Late (when first child reaches 14): lack of positive emotion in discussion of day's events; does not hold for lower-income couples
  51. Divorce may impair well-being even several years later, called __. 

    Divorce in middle- or late life: ??
    divorce hangover: inability to let go

    if the woman initiates divorce, thy report self-focused growth and optimism. If they did not,they ruminate and feel vulnerable

    Middle aged divorce women often face financial problems
  52. Single parents are mostly __.

    70% african

    50% latin american

    30% european american
  53. Single parents experience __
    frustration and guilt
  54. Signle parents face considerable obstacles, such as
    • financially being less well-off and
    • difficulty of integrating work and parenthood
  55. Dating is a particular concern for many divorced single parents. Why?
    they are insecure about sexuality and how to behave around their children
  56. Step, Foster, Adoptive, and same sex couple parenting 

    1) major issue is __.
    forming a bond
  57. There are fe differences among parents who __.
    have their own biological children versus those who do not. 

    • - sometimes contend with biological parents if child wants to seek them out
    • - children adopted from another culture may need connection to culture of origin
  58. Step parents have the ability to __
    formulate good relationships with children. However, sometimes reason for dissolution of second marriage

    Often times, is based on style of step parenting
  59. __ have the most tenuous relationships. WHy?
    foster parents; tough to establish continuity
  60. Gay and lesbian parents
    • evidence is clear= no adverse consequences
    • society's resistance
  61. Midlife Issues: Adult children and caring for aging parents

    1) kinkeeper
    2) sandwich generation
    the person who gathers family members together

    middle-aged parents caught between their children and their parents as caregivers
  62. When children leave home, most parents manage the transition successfully. Roughly __ return home at least once, called __. WHat is the reason.
    • half of young adults
    • boomerang kids
    • costs of living
  63. Giving back: middle-aged adults and their aging parents

    1) filial obligation
    to care for one's parents when necessary (50 million americans do it_
  64. Two main sources of stress of giving back
    1) trouble coping with parents' declines

    2) when caregiving infringes on the adult child's other responsibilities
  65. The parents also lose __ and __. Caregiving is both __ and __
    autonomy and independence

    rewarding and costly
  66. How do grandparents interact with children?
    • they pass on skills, religious, social, and vocational values
    • grandchilren give to grandparents by keeping in touch
  67. Being a grandparent is __
  68. Ethnic differences
    intergenerational relationships are more important in some cultures than others

    Native american grandparents help connect grandchildren to their cultural heritage
  69. Grandparents are increasingly being put in the position to __. Grandparents who do this face more __ and __ than noncustodial grandparents.
    • raise their grandkids
    • stress
    • role disruption
Card Set
Chapter 11: Relationships