Good Communication

  1. What do you need to use to communicate effectively?
    Your third EAR.
  2. What are the three components that make up the EAR?
    • 1. Empathy. 
    • 2. Assertiveness. 
    • 3. Respect.
  3. How do you use Empathy?
    Acknowledge the other person's feelings and point of view.
  4. What does "A" stand for?
    "A" = Assertiveness.
  5. How is Assertiveness used?
    Express your feelings openly and directly, but in a tactful way.
  6. What is non-assertive communicating?
    Failing to express your feelings, or expressing them aggressively.
  7. What does "R" stand for?
    "R" = Respect.
  8. How do you show Respect?
    • Having an attitude that conveys:
    • caring
    • respect,
    • or admiration for the other person.
  9. What indicates a lack of respect?
    A hostile, sarcastic, or competitive attitude.
  10. What is the diagnostic form used to analyze a communication problem?
    "Revise Your Communication Style"
  11. How many questions are needed to do a diagnostic?
    Only two.
  12. What is the first question in the diagnostic?
    Step 1: Write down exactly what the other person said.
  13. What is the second question in the diagnostic?
    Step 2: Write down exactly what you said next.
  14. What is the 3rd step in the diagnostic?
    • Step 3:  Ask yourself:
    • Was your response an example of good or bad communication?
  15. What is the fourth step in the diagnostic?
    • Step 4:  Ask yourself:  
    • Did your response work to make the problem better or worse? Why?
  16. What is the fifth and final step in the diagnostic?
    • Step 5:  Revise.
    • Revise what you wrote down in Step 2, what you said next to the person.  Use the 5 secrets of effective communication.  If your response is still ineffective, try again.
  17. What does "E" stand for?
    "E" = Empathy.
  18. What are the Five Secrets of Effective Communication?
    • 1:  Disarming Technique (DT)  
    • 2:  Put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to see the world through their eyes. 
    • TE = thought empathy. 
    • FE = feeling empathy. 
    • 3.  Inquiry (IN). Ask gentle, probing questions to learn more about what the other person is thinking and feeling. 
    • Assertiveness: 
    • 4.  I feel statements (IF). Express your own ideas and feelings in a direct, tactful manner.  Use "I feel" statements such as, I feel upset, rather than "you" statements, such as "You're wrong."  Or "you're making me furious."
  19. How do you practice the Disarming Technique?
    (DT)  Find some truth in what the other person is saying, even if it seems totally unreasonable or unfair.
  20. What is the second secret?
    • Put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to see the world through their eyes.
    • TE stands for thought empathy. Paraphrase the other persons words.
    • FE stands for feeling empathy. Acknowledge how the other person is probably feeling, based on what she or he said.
Card Set
Good Communication
Good Communcations from David Burns, MD