Final Exam

• Proximity
• Appearance

• Ethos - personality, good qualities
• Self-Disclosure/reciprocation
• Similarity - same interests
• Complementary - opposites attract

Violations of understandings between people in relationships

• Assessment/Continuum - is it extreme or minor
• Reproach - message that a failure event occurred
• Accounts - excuse, apology, justify, denial, absence of an account/ silence
• Response - Forgiveness or Retaliation

Holding back some of the information another person has requested or that you are expected to share (not telling the whole truth).

Ex. I was at the library studying (but I was really playing computer games).

Deliberate presentation of false information.

White lies - slight degree of falsification that has minimal consequence.

Ex. You have nice shoes.

Exaggeration - "stretching the truth" or embellishing the facts

Ex. I tried searching for the research and I found absolutely nothing on the topic.

Baldfaced lie - outright falsification of information intended to deceive the listener.

Ex. From survivor, the character told a made up story to get into people's emotions.

Hurting someone's self esteem; unintentional.  The use of paralanguage.

Crying, conceding, or apologizing in response to a hurtful message.

Ignoring, laughing, or being silent in response to a hurtful message.

Fear of losing something that you have.

Thoughts about the loss of a partner, reflections on decreases in the partner's time for the other, and analyses of behaviors or occurrences deemed suspicious.

Feelings of anger, hurt, distrust, worry, or concern aroused by the threat of losing a relationship.

Want what someone else has.

Verbal - Criticisms (attack partner's personality), Contempt (insult abuse), Defensive behaviors (deny responsibility by making excuses, whining, countercomplaining, and stonewalling (not responding to each other).

Nonverbal - less touching, less eye contact, increased physical distance, decrease in time together, less self-disclosure, more conflict.

Attempts to break up a relationship without explicitly stating the desire to do so.

• Withdrawal - reduce contact and interaction without any explanation.
• Pseudo-de-escalation (one partner claims that he or she wants to redefine the relationship at the lower level of intimacy, but really wants the end relationship)
• Cost escalation - increase the costs associated with the relationship in order to encourage the other person to terminate it.

Explicit statements of a desire to break up a relationship.

• Negative identity management - direct statement of the desire to terminate the relationship.
• Justification - clear statement of the desire to end the relationship, accompanied by an honest explanation of the reasons.
• De-escalation - honest statement of a desire to redefine the relationship at the lower level of intimacy or to move toward ending the relationship.
• Positive tone - direct strategy that is most sensitive to the other person's sense of self (ex. I love you; I just can't live with you)

One partner is dominate or makes most of the decisions.

Both partners behave toward power in the same way, either both wanting power or both avoiding it.

Competitive - where partner's fight for the power.

Submission - both don't want the power

Depending on the situation, the power shifts back and forth between the partners.

Causal - event that brings about a change in a relationship (either to advance or decrease relationship)

Reflective - event that signals a change in the way a relationship is defined (represents that relationship de-escalate or increase ex. meeting family or saying "I love you" for the first time

Theory that claims people make relationship decisions by assessing and comparing the costs and rewards (economics in humans).

• Costs/Benefits:
• immediate costs - present moment
• forecasted costs - projection or prediction
• cumulative - total rewards and costs accrued during a relationship.

Theory of relational development that posits that increases in intimacy are connected to increases in self-disclosure.

• Self Disclosure - intimacy
• Dyadic effect (quid pro quo) - reciprocal nature of self-disclosure "you tell me something, I tell you something"
• Timing - TMI

Eros - sexual, erotic love based on the pursuit of physical beauty and pleasure

Ludis - Game-playing love based on the enjoyment of another

Storge - Solid love found in friendships and family, based on trust and caring

Mania - Obsessive love driven by mutual needs

Pragma - practical love based on mutual benefits

Agape - selfless love based on giving of yourself for others

Feelings created when one partner desires a more intimate, romantic relationship than the other partner

Behavior designed to indirectly determine a partner's feelings

Taking into account another person's thoughts, values, background, and perspective as you interact with the person

Talk about the nature, quality, direction, or definition of a relationship.