Interpersonal Chap 4

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  1. Emotional Intelligence
    • ability to understand and manage one's own emotions and be sensitive to others feelings
    • linked to self esteem, empathy, satisfaction, conflict mgmt and successful relationships
  2. Emotion
    involuntary experiences we have which are directed toward something specific
  3. Physiological Factors
    • big reactions = flooding, not effective
    • strong emotions generally affect our bodies eg fear increases heart rate
  4. Nonverbal reactions
    • facial expression, posture, tone
    • can induce emotional state
  5. Cognitive interpretation
    • how we perceive or interpret an event
    • eg nervous teacher
    • reappraisal 
  6. Reappraisal
    • rethinking meaning of emotionally charged events in ways that alter their emotional impact
    • alter perception
  7. Verbal expression
    better interpretation of emotion
  8. Primary Emotions
    • basic emotions
    • fear, joy, sadness, 
    • no universal agreement
  9. Mixed emotions
    feeling 2 conflicting emotions at the same time
  10. Intense and mild
    • under/over stating these
    • eg. those cookies changed my life!
  11. Constructive Expression
    • lots of negative consequences for holding in emotions
    • social isolation, anxiety, heart problems, asthma, high blood pressure, unsatisfying relationships, depression
    • your healthier if you express emotions 
    • development of child can be done in 2 ways
    • 1. emotion coaching - parent encourages expression, teaching
    • 2. Emotion dismissing - stop, be quiet, go to your room
  12. Moods
    • not directed toward anything
    • lower intensity
    • don't last as long
  13. Personality
    • traits influences how we experience and express emotions
    • eg extraverts vs neurotic
  14. culture
    • value calm or excitement
    • warmer climates = more happy and more expressive
    • individualistic vs collectivist
    • nice to bf, mean to bf
  15. Gender
    • biological sex = best indicator to detect and express emotions
    • women - more likely to express feelings of vulnerability and positive. Concern and able to id others emotions
    • men - less to express vulnerability. more likely to express (+) and feelings
    • Variables - sex of other person, relationship of other person, power dynamic - person w/ less power is better at person w/ power
  16. Social Conventions
    • Usually only positive emotions
    • social rules may discourage expression of too much emotion
    • emotional labour
  17. Emotional Labour
    • amount of energy, effort, work to express one emotion or another and suppress another
    • requirements of social roles influence expression of emotions
    • less emotional dissonance = emotional labour required - leads to higher relationship satisfaction
  18. Fear of self disclosure
    society discourages emotional expression makes self disclosure emotionally risky
  19. Emotional Contagion
    • process by which emotions are transferred from one person to another
    • emotions are infectious 
    • we mimic how others behave towards us
  20. Benefits
    happier, better relationships, more career success
  21. Recognize your feelings
    • be aware and id your emotions
    • regulate, E.I.
  22. Expand Emotional Vocab.
    • many people suffer from limited emotional vocab
    • creates confusion and can lead to conflict
    • can minimize strength of feelings
    • we gain more clarity - like describing colours by only ROYGBIV
    • over usage of a word can cause it to lose meaning. eg. youre my best friend
  23. Diff. b/w feeling, talking and acting
    • just b/c we feel something doesnt mean we have to express it
    • sometimes we just need to reflect
  24. Express multiple feelings
    • increases value and accuracy of message
    • increases chance of empathy 
    • often more than one thing is felt
  25. Consider where and when to express your feelings
    • timing is everything
    • think through what you say and how you want to say it - requires E.I
    • first flood often is not the best time to speak out
  26. Accept responsibility for your feelings
    • make I statements
    • why take responsibility? we deny our feelings and defend ourselves even if we are wrong
  27. Be mindful of comm channel
    diff. channels influence how others interpret our message
  28. Facilitative
    contribute to effective functioning
  29. Debilitative Emotions
    • prevent a person from functioning
    • emotions distinguished by intensity and duration. long and intense = debilitative
  30. Rumination
    dwelling on negative thoughts that in turn intensify negative feelings
  31. Self Talk
    • process of thinking
    • can occur when a person interprets anothers behaviour
  32. Sources of debilitative emotions
    • self talk
    • beliefs we hold about event makes us feel bad, not actual event
  33. Fallacies
    • debilitative feelings that come from accepting irrational thoughts
    • we are usually unaware of these thoughts
  34. Fallacy of Perfection
    • a good communicator should be able to handle w/ complete confidence and skill
    • wish i would have said...
  35. Fallacy of Approval
    its vital to win approval of everyone we communicate w/
  36. Fallacy of Shoulds
    • inability to distinguish b/w what is and what should be
    • I must... they should treat me... I should... 
    • never satisfied, complain w/o action does nothing
  37. Fallacy of Overgeneralization
    • conclusions based on limited evidence or communicators exaggerating short comings
    • I'm so dumb... I always...
  38. Fallacy of Causation
    emotions caused by others, not by person who experiences them
  39. Fallacy of Helplessnes
    Satisfaction in life is determined by elements beyond our control
  40. Fallacy of Catastrophic Expectations
    • worst possible outcome will happen
    • If I held a party, no one will come
  41. Minimize Debilitative Emotions
    • 1. Monitor Emotional Reactions
    • 2. Note Activating event
    • 3. Record self talk
    • 4. Reappraise your irrational beliefs
  42. 1. Monitor emotional reactions
    • physiological reactions
    • eg. butterflies
  43. 2. Note activating event
    • identify stressor, what triggered response
    • can be obvious or subtle
  44. 3. Record self talk
    • putting thoughts on paper helps you see things from another perspective and see whether they make sense
    • helps you identify emotions and thought process future
    • situation seems different when viewed through different lens
  45. 4. Reappraise your irrational beliefs
    • dispute irrational beliefs
    • discover fallacies that cause mistaken thinking
  46. Criticisms of rational emotive approach
    • just like talking yourself out of a bad mood
    • technique promises too much
    • too cold and phony
    • These have minimal merit, approach works b/c focusses on positive thinking, its reflective and realistic
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Interpersonal Chap 4
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