Comm1210_terms2.txt

The constant movement toward or away from others by changing your communicative behavior (2 types of accommodation strategies: Convergence and Divergence)

Adapting your communication behavior to the other.

Accenting the differences between yourself and the other through communication

Persisting in your original communication style regardless of the communication behavior of the other; similar to divergence; underaccommodation

• Demeaning or patronizing talk; excessive concern paid to
• vocal clarity or amplitude, message simplification, or repetition

Group memberships and social categories that we use to define who we are

• A communicator's predisposition to focus on wither their individual identity or their group identity during conversation.
• (If an individual first aligns with their group identity (Tajfel and Turner) their accommodation patterns will be more divergent as they distinguish themselves as group members first.)

Expectations about behavior that members of a community feel should (or should not) occur in particular situations

• The perceptual process by which we observe what people do and then try to figure out their intent or disposition.
• (Based on how we attribute the speech of another, we will then converge or diverge accordingly in our accommodation.)

• -Collectivistic Cultural Context
• -Distressing history of interaction
• -Stereotypes
• -Norms for treatment of groups
• -High group solidarity/High group dependence

Because individuals bring their self-images or identities into each communicative encounter, every communication interaction is affected by their identities.

• Who a person is, composed of individual and social categories a person identifies with, as well as the categories that others identify with that person.
• Primary Identities--Most consistent (ethnicity)
• Secondary Identities--More fluid and situational (occupation)

• Process 1: Reflected Appraisals
• Process 2: Social Comparisons
• Process 3: Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

The Understanding of one's unique characteristics as well as the similarities to, and differences from others

• Part of one's self-concept; arises out of how one perceives and interprets themselves.
• (In certain situations one can be confident, while in others he is not--> such as speaking in front of a class and speaking in front of an auditorium.)

• People's self-images arise primarily from the ways that others view them and from the many messages they have received from others about who they are.
• Otherwise known as Looking Glass Self
• Influenced by particular and generalized others (Mead)

• We compare ourselves to others to determine how we measure up, and through this social comparison, we evaluate ourselves.
• We define how desirable our own characteristics are by exploring others (teens, peer-pressure, wanting to be popular)

• When an individual expects something to occur, the expectation increases the likelihood that it will.
• Believing in a particular outcome influences people to act and communicate in ways that make that outcome more likely.

• Racial Identity
• National Identity-citizenship
• Ethnic Identity--tribal, linguistic (Latino)
• Gender Identity--acting masculine/feminine
• Sexual Identity--sexual preference/orientation
• Age Identity
• Social Class Identity
• Religious Identity.

• The process or means by which we show the world who we think we are. (We are actors who adapt to the different situations)
• There are different dimensions of identity that we regularly perform
• If we fail to perform these identities in the appropriate way we become open to institutional and social disciplining.

Peaceful third party intervention

Communication that occurs in interactions between people who are culturally different

Learned patterns of perceptions, values, and behaviors shared by a group of people

Diverse

People who live between cultures and often experience contradictory cultural patterns

• * Border Dwellers through Travel
• o Depending on what type of traveler they are, they experience a variety of cultural challenges.
• * Border Dwellers through Socialization
• o Composed of people who grow up living on the borders between cultural groups. I.e. Immigrants in the U.S.
• * Border Dwellers through Relationships
• o People who live on cultural borders because they have intimate partners whose background differs from their own. I.e. Interracial or interethnic marriages

People who are border dwellers by choice and for a limited time, such as study-abroad students or corporate personnel

People who are border dwellers by choice and for an extended time, such as immigrants

A feeling of disorientation and discomfort due to the lack of familiar environmental cues

• A theory that individuals go through three predictable phases in adapting to new culture.
• Process:
• * Excitement and anticipation
• * Experience Culture Shock
• * Adaptation

People who are border dwellers not by choice and only for a limited time, such as refugees forced to move

People who are border dwellers permanently but not by choice, such as those who relocate to escape war

Culture shock experienced by travelers upon returning to their home country

People who feel disintegrated by having to shift cultures

People who thrive in a border dweller life, while recognizing its tremendous challenges

Beliefs that are so central to a cultural group that they are never questioned

• 1. Understand these values are predominant and NOT absolute
• 2. Understand these are cultural values, NOT individual values
• 3. Understand the best way to get to know what a person believes is to get to know the person-->TALK

• 1. Individualism and Collectivism
• 2. Preferred Personality
• 3. View of Human Nature
• 4. Human Nature Value
• 5. Power Distance
• 6. Long Term versus Short Term Orientation

A value orientation that respects the autonomy and independence of individuals

A value orientation that stresses the needs of the group

A value orientation that expresses whether it is more important for a person to "do" or to "be"

A value orientation that expresses whether humans are fundamentally good, evil, or both

The perceived relationship between humans and nature

A value orientation that refers to the extent to which less powerful members of institutions and organizations within a culture expect and accept an unequal distribution of power

The dimension of a society's value orientation that reflects its attitude toward virtue or truth

A value orientation that stresses the importance of possessing one fundamental truth

Belief in one god

A value orientation in which people stress the importance of virtue

Belief in more than one god

Recognizes that things need not be perceived as either/or, but may be seen as both/and

• 1. Culture/Individual
• 2. Personal/Contextual
• 3. Difference/Similarity
• 4. Static/Dynamic
• 5. History/Past-Present/Future
• 6. Privilege/Disadvantage

Thinking in which things are perceived as "either/or" (I.e. good or bad, big or small, right or wrong)

Power is represented in a cultural hierarchy that is never exactly fixed but that does constrain and influence communication among cultural groups. (In any moment there will be one with more power)

A significant minority group within a dominant majority that does not share dominant group values or communication patterns

• Proximity
• Physical Attractiveness
• Similarity

How close one is to others (historically: location wise, such as a college campus, workplace, and neighborhood. Today: email, txt, etc made it larger)

The appeal one person has for another, based on physical appearance, personalities, and/or behavior, or communication skills.

The tendency to develop relationships with people who are approximately as attractive as we are (can be in friendships, romantic relationship, marriage, or roommate)

Degree to which people share the same values, interest, and background

Theory that argues that much earlier interaction is dedicated to reducing uncertainty about others and determining if one wishes to interact with them again.

Stage Models & Relationship Trajectory Models

• * Social Penetration Theory
• * Knapp's Stage Model
• * Rawlin's Stage Model for Friendship

A theory that proposes relationships developed through increases in self-disclosure (breadth, depth, frequency)

The numbers of different topics dyads willingly discuss

How deep or personal communication exchanges are

How often self-disclosure occurs

• Orientation
• Exploratory Affective Exchange
• Affective Exchange
• Stable Exchange

The in which people first meet and engage in superficial communication

Stage in which people increase the breadth of their communication

Stage in which people increase the breadth, depth, and frequency of their self-disclosure

Stage in which relational partners engage in the greatest breadth and depth of self-disclosure

• Model of relationship development that views relationships as occurring in stages and that focuses on how people communicate as relationships develop and decline (a staircase graph of 5 steps leading up to commitment and down to termination)
• Commitment: 1. Initiating, 2. Experimenting, 3. Intensifying, 4. Integrating, 5. Bonding.
• Termination: 1. Differentiating, 2. Circumscribing, 3. Stagnating, 4. Avoiding, 5. Terminating

Stage of romantic relational development in which both people behave so as to appear pleasant and likeable

Stage o romantic relational development in which both people seek to learn about each other

Stage of romantic relational development in which both people seek to increase intimacy and connectedness

Stage of romantic relational development in which both people portray themselves as a couple

Stage of romantic relational development characterized by public commitment

Stage of romantic relational dissolution in which couples increase their interpersonal distance

Stage of romantic relational dissolution in which couples discuss safe topics

Stage of romantic relational dissolution in which couples try to prevent change

Stage of romantic relational dissolution in which couples try not to interact with each other

Stage of romantic relational dissolution in which couples end their relationship (does not necessarily mean that it is a regret or that they did not stay friends)

• Stage 1: Role-limited interaction (friend of a friend)
• Stage 2: Friendly relations (introduces possibility of future friendship)
• Stage 3: Moves toward friendship
• Stage 4: Nascent friendship
• Stage 5: Stabilized friendship
• Stage 6: Waning friendship (friends on facebook that you haven't spoken to in a long time)

• * Whirlwind Trajectory
• * Friendship First Trajectory
• * Turning Points Model

Relationship development models that view relationship development as more variable than do stage models

Characterized by "love at first sight" and a rapid progression toward commitment

Characterized by a gradual progression from friendship to romance

• A model of relationship development in which couples move both toward and away from commitment over the course of their relationship
• Couples engage in 14 turning points in their relationship (I=increase; D=decrease; 0=no change):
• Get-to-know time (I)
• Quality time (I)
• Physical separation (0)
• External competition (D)
• Reunion (I)
• Passion (I)
• Disengagement (D)
• Positive psychic change (I)
• Exclusivity (I)
• Negative psychic change (D)
• Making up (I)
• Serious commitment (I)
• Sacrifice (I)

Dialectics are the contradictory tensions that couple's experience in relationships.

• Autonomy/connection
• Expressive/privacy
• Change/Predictability

The tension people experience when they have two seemingly contradictory but connected needs.

A dialectical tension in relationships that refers to one's need to connect with others and the simultaneous need to feel independent au autonomous

A dialectical tension in relationships that describes the need to be open and to self-disclose while also maintaining some sense of privacy

A dialectical tension in relationships that describes the human desire for events that are new, spontaneous, and unplanned while simultaneously needing some aspect of life to be stable and predictable

Effective communication (flirting/asking nonthreatening questions) I.e. touch, nonverbal communication, questions/comments

• Effective communication-->couples' happiness
• Satisfied relationships-->effective communication

• Equal communication skills=better/stronger friendship
• Assurances, positivity, open discussion, and listening
• Shared activities and ongoing interactions
• Good conflicting management skills

• Behaviors that couples perform that help maintain their relationship
• (Positivity, Openness, Assurances, Social networks, Sharing tasks, Joint activity, Mediated communication, Avoidance/antisocial, Humor)

Sudden death and Passing Away

The process by which relationships end without prior warning for at least one participant

The process by which relationships decline over time

Qualities individuals initially found attractive became the qualities that led to the end of the relationship.

• Negative Identity Management
• De-escalation Strategies
• Justification Strategies
• Behavioral de-escalating strategies

Communicating in ways that arouse negative emotions in order to make the other person upset enough to agree to break off a relationship

Covers broad range of strategies, such as promising some continued closeness (we can still be friends) or suggesting that the couple might reconcile in the future. An attempt to reframe or change the definition of the relationship

Finding reasons to end the relationship (Positive (more time for our careers) or negative reasons (we will hate each other)

Avoiding the partner (least used b/c it is hard to avoid your ex.)

Withdrawal/Avoidance; Machiavellian Tactics; Positive Tone Strategy; Openness

A friendship termination strategy in which friends spend less time together, don't return phone calls, and avoid places where they are likely to see each other

Having a third party convey one's unhappiness about a relationship

Express concern for the rejected friend and try to make the person feel better

You straightforwardly explain to your friend why the relationship is ending

• Aversive Communication Behaviors
• Deceptions
• Jealousy
• Interpersonal Violence
• Sexual Coercion

• Battering
• Situational Couple Violence

Concealment, distortion, or lying in communication

The tendency to not suspect one's intimates of deception

A complex and often painful emotion that occurs when a person perceives a threat to an existing relationship

Physical violence against a partner or child

Physically nonviolent pressure to engage in unwanted sex

A high degree of similarity

• A dynamic knot of contradictions in personal relationships; an unceasing interplay between contrary or opposing tendencies
• Much of Baxter and Montgomery's work is inspired by Bakhtin who saw dialectical tensions as providing an opportunity for dialogue

Dialectical tensions play out in both our relationships (internal) and between the couple and the community (external)

Ongoing tensions played out within a relationship

Ongoing tensions between a couple and their community

• * Integration/Separation
• * Stability/Change
• * Expression/Non-expression

• A class of relational dialectics that includes connectedness-separateness, inclusion-seclusion, intimacy-independence, and closeness-autonomy
• According to B & M, this is the primary strain within relationships

A class of relational dialectics that includes certainty-uncertainty, conventional-uniqueness, predictable-surprise, and routine-novelty

• A class of relational dialectics that includes openness-closeness, revelation-concealment, candor-secrecy, transparency-privacy
• Each possible advantage for going public is offset by a corresponding potential danger

• Baxter has recently taken her notion of dialectics and applied it to the relational implications of Bakhtin's notion of dialogue--Talk that constructs negotiations: What is the end result? How does it change?
• Baxter believes that dialogue is the second generation of relational dialectics.

• Strand 1: Dialogue as a constitutive process
• Strand 2: Dialogue as dialectical flux
• Strand 3: Dialogue as an aesthetic moment
• Strand 4: Dialogue in utterance
• Strand 5: Dialogue as Critical Sensibility

Communication that is constitutive, always in flux, capable of achieving aesthetic moments

• Constitutive Dialogue: Communication that creates, sustains, and alters relationships and the social world; social construction
• A Constitutive Approach suggests communication creates and sustains the relationship

Dialectical Flux: The unpredictable, unfinalizable, indeterminate nature of personal relationships

• Aesthetic Moment: A fleeting sense of unity through a profound respect for disparate voices
• in dialogue
• * Moment of communication of real connection that last
• just a moment, and can never be found again.
• * Moment when you come to a realization about a topic. "I never would have thought or seen it in
• that way"

• A portion of multi-vocal communication that affects and is affected by one or more other voices in the conversation
• Creates the back and forth in communication

Switching back and forth between two contrasting voices, responding first to one pull and then the other

A compartmentalizing tactic by which partners isolate different aspects of their relationship

An obligation to critique dominant voices, especially those that suppress opposing viewpoints; a responsibility to advocate for those who are muted

Balancing interests off all in your life (yours and those around you.)

Judging actions solely on the basis of their beneficial or harmful outcomes.

Truthful statements are preferable to tell lies in the absence of special circumstances that overcome their negative weight

• Many theorist don't think relational dialectics should be considered a theory
• "It lacks the structural intricacies of formal theories for predictions and explanations; it offers no extensive hierarchical array of axiomatic or propositional arguments. It does not represent a single unitary statement of generalized predictions"
• * Baxter and Montgomery offer relational Dialectics as a sensitizing theory that should be judged on the basis of its ability to help us see close relationships in a new light.

These researchers were interested in studying HOW certain behaviors affect people rather than why they did them

• This theory was developed by Paul Watzlawick and published in the book. 1965
• In this book, he and his co-authors outlines several different axioms of communication that he believed made up the "grammar of communication" or "the rules of the game"

• Oftentimes, systems become static (such as Family Homeostasis)
• Through understanding these axioms, we can begin to recognize and change our destructive attitudes towards change.

A self-regulating, interdependent network of feedback loops guided by members' rules; the behavior of each person affects and is affected by the behavior of another

Sequences of behaviors governed by rules

The tacit collusion of family members to maintain the status quo

• Even if we deliberately don't respond, the nature of communication requires a reciprocal interaction--therefore even our failure to respond sends a message.
• I.e. Symptom Strategy

Ascribing our silence to something beyond our control that renders communication justifiably impossible (sleepiness, headache, drunkenness, etc...)

• Any message we send (either verbal or nonverbal) is made up of both content component and a relationship component.
• Relationship aspects surround content and thus provide a context and atmosphere for the interpretation.
• Watzlawick referred to the relational aspect of interaction as metacommunication

The report part of a message; what is said verbally

The command part of the message; how it is said nonverbally

Communication about communication

• Punctuate: Interpreting an ongoing sequence of events by labeling one event as the cause and the following event as the response
• * This sometimes results in conceiving of ourselves as reacting to, but not as provoking the attitudes of others.
• * Makes it hard to break the cycle

Interpreting an ongoing sequence of events by labeling one event as the cause and the following as the response.

• * Symmetrical interchange
• * Complementary interchange

Interaction based on equal power

Interaction based on accepted differences of power

• * One-up communication
• * One-down communication
• * One-across communication

A conversational move to gain control of the exchange; attempted domination

A conversational move to yield control of the exchange; attempted submission

A conversational move to neutralize or level control within the exchange; when just one party uses it, the interchange is called transitory

Watzlawick saw family members (or anyone in a system) as often caught in the double-bind of mutually exclusive expectations, which Bateson describes as the double-bind--Circle that continually perpetuates itself.

Within addiction culture, a person whose nonassertive behavior allows others to continue in their substance abuse

A person trapped under mutual exclusive expectations; specifically; the powerful party in a complementary relationship insists that the low-power party act as if it were symmetrical (I.e. Tell me you love me!)

• The process of instituting change by stepping outside of a situation and reinterpreting what is means
• It's all how you look at something
• Accepting a new frame (or way), implies rejecting the old one.

Assumes alcoholism and other addictions are diseases to be cured rather than character disorders to be condemned

Regards verbal and nonverbal components of a message as completely integrated and often interchangeable

A systems-theory assumption that a given outcome could have occurred due to any or many interconnected factors rather than being a result in a cause-effect relationship