Marriage & Family

The process of pairing off that involves the open choices of mates and engagement activities that allow people to get to know each other and progress toward coupling and mate selection

Behaviors and social relationships individuals engage in prior to marriage

*Dating is the primary strategy for mate selection in the US

Process of selecting a mate and developing an intimate relationship

Socialization that is directed toward learning future roles, in this case marriage roles

*Socialization through dating, people learn the norms, roles and values that govern heterosexual relationships

Dating provides an opportunity to relax, have fun and enjoy themselves in the company of someone they like

Process where by women and men are classified according to their desirability as dating partners

• Exchange Theory: we enter into and remain in an intimate relationship as long as we perceive that the rewards outweigh the costs
• _{Principle of Least Interest}: partner who is least interested in the relationship has an advantage and is in a position to dominate.  In essence this person trades his/her company for the other person's acquiescence to his/her wishes
• Equity Theory: a person is attracted to another by a fair deal rather than a profitable exchange

David Klimek (1979): Individuals use a series of filters to sort through a large number of potential mates until relatively few eligible are left

Pool of Eligibles: people whom our society has defined as acceptable marriage partners for us

The Marriage Squeeze:  the imbalances in the ration of marriage-aged men to marriage men to marriage-aged women causes one sex to have a more limited pool of eligibles than does that other

• Marriage Gradient: men tend to marry women who are slightly lower down the social class continuum (younger, poorer, less educated); accordingly, the pool of eligible mates for men increases as they get older, richer and more educated.
• _{The converse is true for women}

Propinquity: denotes proximity or closeness in place and space

Romantic and emotional attract to another person

• Heterosexuality- "hetero": the other of two
• Homosexuality-"homo": the same
• Bisexuality- strong attract to both sexes
• Asexuality- no sexual attraction

Mounting biological evidence for genetics and social influences

Refers to the feelings, thought, attitudes, values and behaviors of humans, who have learned a set of cues that evoke a sexual or erotic response

• Showing affection and sexual position
• Notions of modesty
• Restrictions placed upon openness

• The norm forbidding sexual relations between certain relatives
• *found in every society

Highest rates of other high-income countries

• Sexually explicit material that causes sexual arousal
• Supreme court gives local communities the power to decide what violates "community standards"
• Criticized for moral and political reasons

Strongest in low-income countries there patriarchy is strong and opportunities to earn a living are restricted

• Calls girls
• Workers in controlled parlors
• Street walkers

• Police stage only occasional crackdowns
• Law enforcement is likely to target "Johns" who attempt to buy sex

• Macro
• Society depends on sexuality for reproduction; society uses incest taboo and other norms to control sexuality in order to maintain social order
• Sexuality has changed over time: as advances in birth control technology separate sex from reproduction societies relax some controls on sexuality

• Micro
• Sexual practices vary among the many cultures of the world; some societies allow individuals more freedom than others in matters of sexual behaviors
• Sexuality has changed over time: the meaning people attach to virginity and other sexual matters are all socially constructed and subject to change

• Macro
• Sexuality is linked to social inequality; U.S. society regulated women's sexuality more than men's, which is part of the larger pattern of men dominating women
• Sexuality has both changes and stayed the same over time: some sexual standards have relaxed, but society still defines women in sexual terms, just as homosexual people are harmed by society's heterosexual bias

• 27% of American between 18-34 now live with their parents
• In 1970- 8%
• Men are more likely to live at home than women
• Dissatisfaction often reported by both parents and children in these arrangements  

• Historically stigmatized in the U.S.
• Significant numbers of people are choosing to be unmarried for all or at least part of their lives
• Most Americans who eventually marry do so by age 30
• In 2004, 29% of all people 18 and up had never married; 1970- 15.6%

• Voluntary temporary singles: are currently unmarried and not seeking mates
• Voluntary stable singles: choose to remain single on a permanent basis
• Involuntary temporary singles: want to marry and are actively seeking mates
• Involuntary stable singles: desire marriage but have not yet found a mate

• Freedom to grow
• Boredom
• Self-sufficiency
• Feelings of isolation with spouse
• Expanded friendships
• Poor communication
• Unrealistic expectations
• Sexual exploration
• Mobility
• Career opportunities
• Sexual problems
• Media Images

• Cultural norms
• Love and emotional security
• Loneliness
• Physical attraction
• Parental pressure
• Desire for extended family
• Stigma of singlehood
• Social status of "grown up"
• Parental approval
• Economic security
• Fear of independence
• Peer examples
• Media images
• Guilt over singlehood
• Desire for children

• Utilitarian arrangement
• Intimate involvement
• Trial marriage
• Prelude to marriage
• Only 58% of cohabitating women married their partners
• Cohabitating men with the best economic prospects were least likely to marry but also least likely to breakup with their partners

Commune: refers to a group of people (single or married, with or without children) who live together, sharing many aspects of their lives

A marriage of at least 4 people, 2 men and 2 female, in which each partner is married to all partners of the opposite sex

• Husbands emotional engagement (affection and understand) is crucial to a wife's happiness
• Equal division of labor does not make wives more fulfilled
• Happiest wives have husbands who contribute 2/3 of the couple's income
• Wives with more traditional attitudes report happier marriages; wives who work full time and have progressive attitudes are more likely to be unhappy with the division of housework

• 1. Love
• 2. Companionship
• 3. Desire for children
• 4. Happiness
• 5. Money
• 6. Convenience
• 7. Dependence
• 8. Fear of contracting AIDs

• The notion that all children ought to have a socially and legally recognized father
• _{-Helps explains why people marry}
• _{-It falls under the structural-functional paradigm}

A sacred union or rite

• Average price: $27,852
• Wedding ceremony, sit-down meals, entertainment, gifts, honeymoon, decorations, photography/videography, dress/tux, rings, other costs

Characterized by extensive tension and conflict

Couple has lost their sense of excitement and passion

Passivity that characterizes the marriage was there from the beginning

Highly involved sharing and togetherness provide life-force of the marriage, however partners do not lose their sense of identity or monopolize each others time

Constant togetherness and sharing of most if not all important life events; couples often works together and share same friends