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Stages of ongoing conflict listed
- 1. Prior conditions
- 2. Frustration
- 3. Active conflictÂ
- 4. Solution or nonsolution
- 5. Follow-up
- 6. Resolved
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Prior conditions stage
History of the relationship--present in the absence of active conflict but under pressure come into play
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Frustration Awareness
As a response to prior condition, involves becoming frustrated or a block from a need or concern.
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Active Conflict
Direct, overt verbal and nonverbal messages
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Solution or nonsolution
Conflicts evolve into either temporary solution or non
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Follow-up
Reactions that follow the active conflict and affects future interactions such as avoidance
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Resolved stage
Conflicts no longer affect the balance of the family system
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Covert destructive conflict, and how many?
Feelings are hidden and messages are unclear.
Five: Denial, disengagement, displacement, disqualification, pseudomutuality
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Disqualification
Describes a situation where a person expresses anger then discounts the angry reaction. "I'm sorry I got mad at you for sleeping with my ex....."
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Displacement
Anger that is directed to an inappropriate person.
Being angry at John because my boss is angry with me.
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Disengagement
Expressing hostility through lack of interaction
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Pseudomutuality
Family members who appear delighted with each other but really aren't.
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Overt destructive conflict
Verbal aggression and physical aggression that can lead to violence
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Common couple violence
Dynamic in which conflict occasionally gets out of hand, leading usually to 'minor' forms of violence and more rarely escalating into serious violence.
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Strategies for constructive conflict
fair-fighting, listening, managing the physical environment
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Cross-complaining
When the spouse makes a complaint and the other spouse responds by making a counter-complaint.
- Eg. "I had a bad day."
- "You think you had a bad day....."
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Demand/withdrawl
One spouse enacts and complaining or nagging behavior, while the other spouse withdraws, trying to avoid conflict
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Four types of demand-withdraw
- discuss/exit
- socratic question/perfunctory response
- complain/deny
- criticize/defend
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discuss/exit
One partner seeks discussion of a topic and the other partner exits physically or communicatively
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socratic question/perfunctory response
One person asking a series of questions and the other giving expected responses. Eg. Child-parent
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Complain/deny
One partner complains about a relational issue and the other denies the legitimacy of the issue
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criticize/defend
One person states a criticism of the other, who is defensive in response.
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