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Relational maintenance
relational maintenance involves keeping a relationship: in existence, in a state of connectedness, in satisfactory condition, in repair
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Maintenance strategies (list five)
positivity, openness, assurances, social networks, sharing tasks
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positivity
includes being cheerful and supportive, giving gifts or compliments, being upbeat when talking and avoiding criticism.
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openness
includes self-disclosure, as well as explicitly discussing the relationship and sharing thoughts and feelings about relational problems. The smaller the number of taboo or off-limit topics, the greater the openness.
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Assurances
Includes stressing love, support and commitment, implying the partners are faithful and the relationship has a future
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social networks
includes involving family and friends in activities as well as sharing interconnected networks. social support contributes to relational stability because others are there to help
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sharing tasks
includes jointly performing tasks and performing one's fair share of the work.
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Rituals (name 3)
family celebrations, family traditions, patterned family interactions
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family celebrations
often tied to cultural norms, include the way holidays are celebrated or that certain special events are recognized
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family traditions
reflecting unique family occasions, embody patterns passed down by family-of-origin members
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patterned family interactions
reflecting everyday connections, emerge out of increasingly patterned interactions usually developed implicitly
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Couple time (3 things)
enjoyable activities, togetherness, escape episodes
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Indiosyncratic/Symbolic
favorites, private codes, play rituals, celebrations
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Daily routines/tasks
accomplishing everyday, mundane activities, tasks and chores
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Intimacy expressions
involve physical, symbolic, verbal expressions of love, fondness, affection or sexual attraction.
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Communication
couple talk time--phone calls, debriefing conversations, text messages
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Patterns/habits/mannerisms
interactional, territorial and/or situational patterns. Eg. Sleeping on the same side of the bed.
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Spiritual
Religious beliefs
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Ceremonials
major rites of passage such as weddings, graduations, funerals
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Celebrations
Thanksgiving, Christmas, Fourth of July, etc.
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Chronicling
talk about present events or those of the recent past, in which the communicator updates others by providing information about his/her life
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Confirming messages
acknowledge the other person, affirm the other's communication by responding relevantly to it, reflects and accepts the other's self-experience and suggests a willingness to become involved with the other
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rejecting messages
send the message "you do not exist"
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dialogue
mutual exploration "what do you think?"
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acceptance
when we feel acceptance even though we disagreed with, we do not feel tolerated; we feel loved. avoids judging one another
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