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THORN: Go and retrieve the rest of the mail.
BUSTER: But, but...
THORN: Goodbye, Buster.
BUSTER: Oh, crap. [Exits]
[Enter] Is Evelyn here?
-
THORN: Hello, Talbot. Have a look at this.
NORA: She's gone to Bonnell's Adam.
[Move to exit.] Excuse me then.
-
THORN: Wait. You'll want to see this. We're hearing from Europe now.
TALBOT: Europe! [Toss hat at coat rack.]
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EVELYN: Hello Father, Mother. And what news h ave we today?
THORN: Hello, Evy.
Hello, Evelyn.
-
THORN: My Lord, here's one from Germany.
Good God!
-
THORN: this one from England says they saw the Maggie Murphy photo in Strand magazine.
What's that?
-
THORN: Oh, just the most highly-respected English journal in the world. Five hundred thousand reaers.
But how did they get my photograph?
-
TALBOT: But how did they get my photograph?
THORN: You didn't send it to them?
No! I want to be finished with this whole affair! It's ruining my life.
-
THORN: This one is from the Royal Gardener in Moscow.
What does it say?
-
THORN: This one is from the Royal Gardener in Moscow.
TALBOT: What does it say?
THORN: Oh my.
What?
-
THORN: This one is from the Royal Gardener in Moscow.
TALBOT: What does it say?
THORN: Oh my.
TALBOT: What?
THORN: Well they all want the same thing.
[Pick up the letter and read.] Pieces of the potato?!
-
TALBOT: [Pick up the letter and read.] Pieces of the potato?!
THORN: Naturally.
Oh, no!
-
TALBOT: [Pick up the letter and read.] Pieces of the potato?!
THORN: Naturally.
TALBOT: Oh, no!
THORN: Oh, yes.
Well, what do we do?
-
NORA: Walter L. Thorndyke at a loss for words?
[Pick up another letter.] Oh, no.
-
TALBOT: [Pick up another letter.] Oh, no.
THORN: What now?
You better take a look at this one.
-
THORN: What? Grover Cleveland wants a piece of Maggie Murphy too? Hehe.
Worse.
-
THORN: Can it get worse? Or better?
It's a potato handling firm.
-
TALBOT: It's a potato handling firm.
THORN: Splendid. Send them some potato pieces and a bill.
They want the whole potato! Says here they want to borrow it, or buy it if they have to.
-
TALBOT: They want the whole potato! Says here they want to borrow it, or buy it if they have to.
THORN: Buy it?
They're offering $500.
-
TALBOT: They're offering $500.
THORN: Well, now. Let's think about this.
Can't we just be done with it?
-
TALBOT: Can't we just be done with it?
THORN: Why?
They want to put it on display in Denver, and are sending a man up here to negotiate.
-
THORN: That blasted Maggie Murphy will bring me down yet. She's pressing me.
Well, something has to be done. If you don't do it, I will.
-
THORN: Now, son. Be careful. Best leave these matters to me.
Right. That was my first mistake.
-
THORN: What are you thinking of doing?
I don't know, yet. I don't know.
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