Mind Candy Wisdom

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    Sometimes little things can hurt much more than big things. When someone attacks you with words, look for something inside yourself that sparkles.
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    The Authority of the Select Few - They're acting like competitors or big shots - If you don't know quite what to say, they may be withholding something, trying to make you feel jealous - They're withholding warmth.
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    Many people are not allowed to express anger - There's a little pain in it - So they try to get you going by posing trick questions, or falsely complimenting you - They don't know aggression is the cure for neurosis!
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    Loaded for bear and spoiling for a fight, he or she is a Chocolate Bully - They try to trick you, and laugh at you when you believe them - It feels like condescension.
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    When people bash you or attack your character, don't explain, don't complain - Get angry! - Express anger through your tone of voice - It's not, —Very funny, it's—Very FUNNY! - At first you have to be an actor. After a while your emotions catch up.
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    These people feel they're above it all - They're "divine liars." - They don't admit their dark side. The least you're putting yourself out, the more they'll respect you.
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    Some people use their intelligence in ways you would never imagine ... to hurt, humiliate, embarrass, and disqualify you - You feel you've been blind-sided.
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    First they say you're good, then they say you're bad, then they ignore you. What you really are needs nourishment, but it doesn't need approval.
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    They're using an Appeal to Ignorance - An argument based on your inability to prove the opposite - You feel they're patronizing, or giving you flawed advice.
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    They use Question Begging Epithets – intrusive questions, emotionally loaded words, controversial phrases, dyslogistic language (conveying censure), or eulogistic (complimentary) language. They're also coming from another direction - 3rd Party Interference!
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    They're like 7th Street Operators, rattling off one chummy thing after another. It's all glib posturing, and It's all about you - See how one-sided it is? Whatever they sling at you, sling something back!
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    They're pulling rank - They're very mean to people in irrational ways - It's like getting nibbled to death by ducks - They think they are far, far superior - No matter what experiences you've had, they try to hurt your feelings, or fill you with fear - People who try to be other than they are, never like people who are what they are.
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    Feeling threatened or abandoned, they suddenly turn on you - They cut short the conversation, or abruptly change course - It's a good time to ask for a raise!
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    People who feel something is wrong with them want everyone else to feel something is wrong with them - Feels like they're giving you sneers & jeers for doing ordinary things - Whatever you are must be all right, because you're alive.
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    People feel reluctant to challenge smooth-talking or famous people - It's an informal fallacy of rhetoric called The Authority of the One - Competence in one field does not necessarily indicate competence in another.
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    These people are jumping the gun here – Sometimes you just need to be left alone before deciding what to do, without any negative anticipation - You feel pressure for premature commitment - Don't let anyone trick you into changing horses midstream.
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    Bird-dogging & beating around the bush, they act perplexed, try to squelch your self-expression, or push you around by using indirection - What they're really getting at is, you're supposed to "take a hint."
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    When people are baiting you, slip under their radar - It's called, "dumbing down." - Let's put it this way ... They can't shoot you down if you're not all puffed up to begin with - Just act dumber and dumber, in sort of a friendly way - Using subtle sarcasm, don't take the bait!
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    Both love and hate are inside people, and it's best to be honest about that - Everyone's just as bad as everyone else, and until we die, we have to take care of ourselves, right? - Repulsive as that is.
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    Argumentum ad Verecundiam - They use free association and an air of authority to produce an illusion of proof - There's always going to be nincompoops - They talk a good game - They have no sense of truth.
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    a Fortiori Argument - (With Stronger Force) - They're saying if something is true in a famous case, it must be true, with stronger force, in the relatively mainstream case, which is a fallacy - They're just putting on airs -Pretending to be something they're not.
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    This is Intimidation and Lying - In third grade they say things because people say it to them, and they want to know how to answer.
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    This is Ambition and Assassination - Women who are very ambitious, and men who have latent homosexual tendencies, frequently refer to certain people as "assholes." They cannot see that people are different.
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    Corrosiveness - It feels like tension - They're always putting it on the other person. Instead of saying, "I hate you!" they say, "There's something wrong with you." After a while you forget.
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    It feels like disparagement - It's detraction from the course of your life, or prejudicial slurs against those not present - the smarter you are, the more people hate you.
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    On the surface it's affectation & torture - Unfortunately, their ulterior motives have a way of highlighting intense bittersweet feelings in you, without any sweet fruit - Sometimes you just get the idea the other person is trying to control you.
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    But It's An Emergency! - How does a kid know if it's really an emergency? A family really should have an "Emergency Password," and without it, a child should practice being outrageously bad.
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    How's Your Status, Baby? - To hypostatize is to ascribe material existence to abstract entities, such as science and nature, making them seem more profound - For instance, "Let nature take its course."
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    So cool they can't even talk to you directly - They're playing, "Brush Off!" - How can you stay professional and courteous when other people operate outside the barrier? - There are fiendish ways you can use words to let steam out of your pressure cooker!
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    Marginalization - You get the feeling they're trying to paint you into a weird box - They're cunning – They can't see things three-dimensionally, but they scheme - They can see what's next, and what's after that.
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    People try to hit you in the imagination when you're right in the middle of things - They have no concept of show business, of entertainment - These are lessons in sticking up for yourself in rapidly changing situations - The real reason is ... Do you have the envelope?
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    In a way it's hopeless - It's the only outlet they have for anger - to disappoint someone - You're investing in this person the power your parents once held - You have to be prepared to walk out - Act in such a way to let them know you're not that serious about it - You shouldn't be so obvious about what's going to drive you crazy - It's good to get angry - If anything happens, you walk out.
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    Double-entendre - When one meaning of a word borders on impropriety and risk, you can reject the risqué meaning by saying, "Just vicious." - You can accept the risk of further flirtations by saying, "Please help me!" -Do the scene poorly - Just walk through it - You have to know why you're doing it - You have to be able to explain it to yourself.
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    Racism and Superficiality - There's one thing you need to understand - Every white kid has some black in him, and every black kid has some white in him - That's the only way you'll get out of it.
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    Compassion is something that's inside yourself - Every now and then, when you see a beggar, say, "Turn on!" inside yourself, give them a dollar, then say, "Turn off!" inside yourself - You have the right to turn it on, and to turn it off.
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    The deceptive ingredients of Passive Aggression ...Ostracism, Feigned innocence, Wolf's clothing ....
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    Then there's just plain meddling - "God bless you!"—Very nice. [That's always reassuring] Why shouldn't a person learn as much as possible about sticking up for themselves? [Also, Nobody sneezed, Touch wood! No kneeling! and Waste not, want not]
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    Bait and Switch - When someone flags a cab and says, "It's for these people over here," it's a danger sign – They like that - They like to be important - We're all islands above the sea, connected underneath by electricity!
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    Litmus Tests - They're really making you work, taking off on surprising tangents - On the other hand, maybe they're just trying to "scratch you" to see what you're made of.
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    Hypocritical people use disparaging tones of voice, implying some unspecified rule, to annihilate your accomplishments, dampen your glory, or put out your fire - Always isolating and pulling away, what they do is wing it at everyone else's expense - You get the idea they're bragging about their invincible ignorance!
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    This is the Dark Side & Intimate Details - At bottom, it's not that human nature is irrational; it's that human nature is founded upon lies - shadow and fog - If you're explaining, you're losing - "Bide your time and everything becomes clear,and you can act accordingly."—Terence Stamp in The Limey (1999)
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    They flip everything over & upset the apple cart - Working to preserve the memory of the worst people they ever met in their life, they endlessly lament or whisper taboos in your ear at inappropriate moments.
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    They try to yank you in all directions - They're judging you on (1) your performance, (2) what you do, (3) what happens to you, or (4) what you know - Instead, see yourself as having an inner entity that needs nourishment. Nourish yourself.
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    Everybody regresses a little bit when they're around friends - I would follow my hunches - You have to institutionalize certain people (in your mind) - Act as if they're your patients, or your wards - Be friendly, expect the worst.
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    Confounding implications - If you ask most people, "What's the opposite of love," they'll say, "Hate!" - People with autism would say something different - They'd probably say, "Being neglected."
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    You never get anything right with them - They haven't seen what you thought they might have seen - They're good at total ignoring - They're so stubborn and angry, they won't give in - They're very afraid of variations in mental activity - They don't want anything real.
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    Stingy Responses & Selfishness for you; Warmth & Generosity for someone else - It's double-dealing - They're just proving they can be nice, which is worse! - It's not bad to feel bad - You don't have to say clever things to have a nice life - Do as little as possible.
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    It's clear they're feeling resentment - A person needs to balance their capacity to help others with the aims and desires of their own life - You know they can't be happy acting like that.
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    Try to see they're pestering you - Asking someone why they are late is an intrusive question that does not show respect - Would they offer this discourtesy to the Crown Prince of Norway?
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    In the olden days, if people said certain things, you'd kill them; if you said certain things, they'd kill you - That's the world they come from - They have their own country - They think people live in caves and that's it. The only thing about me is, I'm a little bit crazy.
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    They don't try to, they actually, manufacture stress and anger in other people, while they act composed – even innocent – and philosophical - They just know how to push all your buttons - When you're around them, take your entire mind on a vacation.
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    Like in the movie, The Sixth Sense, they just see what they want to see - It feels like they're beaming down on you, overpowering you - Even so, you're still alive!
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    You feel drained of all your energy when someone uses hyperbole, or exaggeration, to attack you, or worse, to attack themselves!
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    False Accusation and Misdiagnosis – Sometimes people play out little scenes in front of you, their banter meant to humiliate you. –Really tragic. - If you treat yourself with respect, no one can actually attack you.
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    All they can understand is Rank, Class, and Money - They say other people have little jobs ... so they have big jobs - Ultimately, don't take shit from anyone.
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    Phony team players - "Every man for himself!" - use a laconic tone of voice - No one is consumed by hatred unless they are terribly hurt - They aren't very poetic - They're not interested in understanding - They couldn't care less about what a person is.
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    No matter what they say, you can break the spell – No matter what happens, you can dodge it - They just want to know if someone can cool it and play the game.
Card Set
Mind Candy Wisdom
Mind Candy Wisdom