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MIND CANDY 1

  1. "You're a jerk!"
    • —Like crazy!
    • —Don't include me!
  2. "You're also a liar!"
    • —Totally different.
    • —Maybe it's you.
  3. "You're better than me?"
    • —The reverse!
    • —Keep that in the back of your mind.
  4. "You're a loser."
    • —MANY TIMES!
    • —Part of one big machine.
  5. "You made a mistake."
    • —No doubt.
    • —It's a good place to start.
  6. "I'll just let you stew in your own juices."
    • —Very enriching.
    • —We have a special today.
  7. "Well, now you're putting ME down – and my cousin."
    • —How discouraging.
    • —You're trying to throw me off my case.
  8. "That's deep."
    • —Is it?
    • —You have to be on the sidewalk
    • for your head to be in the stars.
  9. [The bird, the finger]
    • —As if.
    • —Quick reflexes! Stick it in your ear! Slit your throat!
    • That's your IQ! Tattoo that on your forehead!
  10. "Everyone hates the music, Todd,
    • and everyone hates you!"
    • —Think so?
    • —All night long.
  11. "Is this something original, or did you learn it from someone?"
    • —It's relative.
    • —The land that time forgot.
  12. "Are you still on drugs?"
    • —Why bother?
    • —Am I missing something?
  13. "Say Uncle!"
    • —That's enough.
    • —You don't need to throw yourself
    • into the fires of abandonment.
  14. "Help me, I'm going fucking crazy."
    • —Sure, boss!
    • —Woof! Woof!
  15. "Was that too hard for you?" [After you've backed out of a Mexican standoff]
    • —Very different.
    • —I was only born yesterday.
  16. "Do you hate me?"
    • —Not totally.
    • —I got me own racket.
  17. "Have you been following me?"
    • —Since when?
    • —I'm about as far away from that as you can get.
  18. "Clueless! Get a clue."
    • —Maybe less.
    • —Every ball of string unravels.
  19. "Is that my notebook? I have one just like it."
    • —Unheard of.
    • —Get out of there!
  20. "Are you gay?"
    • —Very funny.
    • —Didn't your mother tell you not to talk to strangers?
  21. "Hey, Richard, how's it hanging? –
    • I like your faggot shoes."
    • —Well said.
    • —Tell me about it!
  22. "That's inappropriate."
    • —Not quite.
    • —It's funny who wants to get stuck on the farm
    • and who doesn't.
  23. "You copycat!"
    • —You wonder.
    • —Just like you.
  24. "No sale, not today."
    • —Someone else.
    • —Some do, some don't.
  25. "I feel stupid."
    • —Until now!
    • —What you want to do is try a lot of things.
  26. "You're so weird."
    • —Small world.
    • —It takes one to know one!
  27. "So what happens when you set a variable to space space space A space space space B and then ECHO that variable?"
    • —Just imagine.
    • —It's not what you think.
  28. ["What country are you from?"]
    • "We're from overseas."
    • —Far better!
    • —You're on the run.
  29. "An honest guy."
    • —That's life!
    • —What's better than that?
  30. "You have a book on the table that's a gem; it's a book
    • I happen to know a lot about."
    • —Must be.
    • —Do you want to look at it?
  31. "Mean People Rule."
    • —Never stop.
    • —Over what?
  32. "I just wish I could believe you."
    • —Underneath everything.
    • —Those stubborn, stubborn facts.
  33. "You've got writer's block."
    • —If anything.
    • —Shhh! ... I'm inside it.
  34. "Are they your dogs?"
    • —Even better!
    • —Why do you ask?
  35. "Where is the evidence?"
    • —Never mind!
    • —What for? I'm not in show biz.
  36. "Well, good luck." [Disingenuously]
    • "Stay sober, now, will you?"
    • —Very helpful.
    • —You could teach me.
  37. "Did you buy it new?"
    • —Doesn't matter.
    • —You don't need anything.
  38. "The honeymoon is over."
    • —Anything else?
    • —Who's the master – the machine or the man?
  39. "Whose rude child is that at the end of the table?"
    • —What nerve.
    • —Are you the woman I bit at the last full moon?
  40. "How much rent do you pay?"
    • —Don't worry.
    • —You don't even have to be there ... Never buy horses!
  41. "Run, Toto!" [Mickey Mouse voice]
    • "What's your name?"
    • —Really rudimentary.
    • —It's just another friend – Which one?
  42. "What's your first name? ... your middle name?"
    • —So foolish.
    • —Hydrogen ... H.
  43. "What is that smell? – What's your last name?"
    • —Very common.
    • —One ugly thing after another – Hydrogen. You must be Helium.
  44. "What's her name?" [Your daughter's]
    • —Wicked, huh?
    • —Same thing.
  45. "You said something different yesterday."
    • —Without changing.
    • —1. Yes. 2. No. 3. After Halloween. 4. I was wrong.
  46. "Well, you see, now? That's a different story you're telling now."
    • —Thank you!
    • —Let's forget it! – I can see you're not serious.
  47. "What do you mean, he was coming at you?"
    • —It's insane.
    • —He must have been drunk.
  48. "In your dreams."
    • —That's possible.
    • —You won't regret it.
  49. "How do you ask for a raise?"
    • —Good advice.
    • —How about a raise? Don't you think I deserve it?
    • I think I've been doing really good.
  50. "You almost ran over that guy, but who cares?"
    • —Anything less?
    • —I'll watch for that.
  51. "I think you should apologize.
    • —Really tragic.
    • —With or without laces? ...
    • I apologize to all the shoes.
  52. "IDIOT!"
    • —No worse!
    • —YOU'RE THE EXPERT!
  53. "What are you doing sitting in the dark like a mushroom?"
    • —Nothing much.
    • —Welcome to the old country!
  54. "Whatever turns you on."
    • —Something else.
    • —Cheating everyone.
  55. "A lot of butter there."
    • —Just about.
    • —I'm really looking forward to being dead.
  56. "A lot of cholesterol, man!"
    • —CAN'T SAY!
    • —I'm going right home and slit my throat.
  57. "Are we mean people?"
    • —Sight unseen.
    • —If men were angels, we wouldn't need laws.
  58. "You're having an identity crisis."
    • —How embarrassing.
    • —If men weren't monkeys, we wouldn't need cages.
  59. "Speak for yourself!"
    • —So far.
    • —The deepest parts of you are the smartest.
  60. "These are fake comebacks."
    • —MY mistake.
    • —Never noticed it, huh?
  61. "I guess we can't go dancing!"
    • —Says who?
    • —The first step is to slow down.
  62. "You'd like that a lot."
    • —Oh, huge!
    • —I have my own rules.
  63. "I call him dumb-ass; you know, term of endearment."
    • —Different times.
    • —It's just if you're nursing.
  64. "When does your flight leave?"
    • —Too early!
    • —Don't tell anyone my secret.
  65. "HOW ARE YOU DOING, SIR? I AM YOUR HOST." [Busboy in a cafeteria, surprising you]
    • —All right.
    • —Have mercy!
  66. "Am I in your way?"
    • —Not recently.
    • —That would be serious.
  67. "No WAY!"
    • —THINGS CHANGE!
    • —Everyone knows you have to go slow.
  68. "How do you do that?"
    • —Nothing's new.
    • —It's not so easy to do.
  69. "I'm embarrassed."
    • —Bad enough.
    • —I'm suspicious.
  70. "Hey! This tastes good for a change."
    • —Spooky, huh?
    • —The less you know, the better.
  71. ["Who, me?"] "Yeah, you white man!"
    • —THAT's useless.
    • —What's wrong with being strong?
  72. "After twenty-four years, does the sex go bad?"
    • —You bet!
    • —[After a pause] What do you do when someone insults you or tells you you're no good?
  73. "I'll take that as a compliment."
    • —So WHAT?
    • —I don't think it's bad or anything.
  74. "Boy, you're a barrel of laughs today, David." [Not!]
    • —A natural.
    • —It'll get even worse, you'll see.
  75. "Older than dirt!"
    • —Very advanced.
    • —The people who try to be good always get into trouble.
  76. "Don't you think we're a little old for this?"
    • —Not forever.
    • —The bad people always do better.
  77. "So, what's your point?"
    • —BELIEVE me.
    • —Hopefully there is no point –
    • There's just a nice comfortable chair.
  78. "Today's your special day!"
    • —Beautiful, huh?
    • —All different.
  79. "Well, good for you!"
    • —Well, sure!
    • —It's good for anyone.
  80. "Remember, only one person can win,
    • so please give a big round of applause
    • to our third runner-up (It's you, honey!)"
    • —NOTHING LESS!
    • —Not everyone.
  81. "What is the greatest thing a person can know?"
    • —Beats me!
    • —This, too, shall pass.
  82. "I would expect you to know how
    • to take people where they're going."
    • —We'll manage.
    • —If this wasn't hard, everyone would be rich.
  83. "It's not what you know; it's who you know."
    • —And more!
    • —It takes two to tangle.
  84. "You didn't know that?"
    • —It's maddening.
    • —It wasn't special, let's put it that way.
  85. "It's really none of your business –
    • That's of no importance to you."
    • —Who knows?
    • —It's a great advantage to have friends –
    • It really helps.
  86. "Go fuck yourself! ... Why don't you go fuck yourself?"
    • —I wouldn't.
    • —It's not worth it ...
    • Don't sell yourself short.
  87. "Up yours!"
    • —That's extra!
    • —To be with the rest of your kind.
  88. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."
    • —Ever hopeful.
    • —How dainty.
  89. "You're such a doll!"
    • —Don't panic!
    • —I'm not an angel.
  90. "I'm with the clown."
    • —Hardly ever.
    • —The kindergarten is somewhere else.
  91. "Whatever."
    • —Doesn't hurt.
    • —Having a nice time is the only safe thing.
  92. "You shut up, ASSHOLE! Just shut up, ASSHOLE! I don't want to talk to you, ASSHOLE!"
    • —EVERY TIME!
    • —It doesn't matter ... It's always in the dark ...
    • Have you been there?
  93. "Yes, sir?" [Challenging you as you walk in]
    • —Nothing yet.
    • —Anything missing?
  94. "Berkeley Municipal Code 14.36.030 C
    • Prohibited Parking - Red Curb 33.00."
    • [The day before Christmas Eve]
    • —Really scary!
    • —Do you ever get angry when you swim underwater?
  95. "That's adorable. [Your diamond ring] It's all he could afford, huh?"
    • —Nothing drastic.
    • —Okay, there must be some smart ones.
  96. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
    • —Very little.
    • —Who sold you the map?
  97. "YOU KNOW THIS IS A SIDEWALK. YOU SHOULD CLEAR THE WAY."
    • —Pretty intense.
    • —I like law and order, too.
  98. "There he is ... It must be two o'clock."
    • —Almost impossible.
    • —Don't tell me the end – I haven't seen it.
  99. "Would you ask her to call me when she comes in?"
    • —Endless files.
    • —You better send an E-mail in case I forget.
  100. "In this country, all the mainstream media and
    • newspapers are run by the Jews."
    • —Not exactly.
    • —I would check that out.
  101. "How is it?" [Your steak, veggies, potato, wine, service, conversation, vacation, sunburn, horror, tablecloth, salad dressing, soup, ....]
    • —That's fine!
    • —It's perfect ... Just right! ... Pretty special.
  102. "Is your show on?"
    • —Before long!
    • —I knew there was an ulterior motive.
  103. ["Thank you."] Uh-huh.
    • —So much!
    • —And weird stuff.
  104. "Have a nice night."
    • —Kicking back!
    • —Maybe I will.
  105. "Honey, your mom sent me to pick you up."
    • —Hold it!
    • —What's the password?
  106. "Please, come over here."
    • —Sure, Jack!
    • —I've got a nose to pick with you.
  107. "It's an emergency."
    • —That's DRASTIC.
    • —There's a pack of electric little phony girls.
  108. "Is there another front entrance? ... I want to save him the trip of coming down." [Stranger at your apartment building, waiting for you to open the door]
    • —Just wait!
    • —Let's wait ... Hold it, hold it, hold it ...
    • Everything takes longer than you expect.
  109. "I'm seeing someone."
    • —How romantic.
    • —That's before my time.
  110. "You make me feel so short; I'm wearing flats today."
    • —Real old-fashioned.
    • —You're a spinning top on the table of love.
  111. "Nice BMW!"
    • —Anytime, right?
    • —Nice on mud.
  112. "Why did you give this to me in particular?"
    • —In case.
    • —Just to be friendly.
  113. "I've got something for you." [Revealing the finger]
    • —Well, maybe!
    • —I know power words!
  114. "I'm telling on you!"
    • —A joke!
    • —I'll be laughing ... peacefully.
  115. "Maybe it's because I'm an asshole."
    • —So sad!
    • —Teeth and all.
  116. "Whassup?"
    • —Just anything!
    • —You don't want to go there.
  117. "So who gets the tab? – Can you take care of it?"
    • —Doesn't everyone?
    • —If you're in a pinch.
  118. "I think if you need that sort of thing, that's fine."
    • —Anybody can.
    • —You get a lot from getting hit over the head by life,
    • and then reading something.
  119. "Need something?"
    • —Including time!
    • —It's hard to save money.
  120. "Tell them the other part of that story."
    • —Totally demanding.
    • —You can stop kidding around, right?
  121. "Are you guilty of murdering your wife?"
    • —It's impossible.
    • —Some people can't.
  122. "Hold still! Now turn around! Hold still!"
    • —Little challenges.
    • —I meant to do that.
  123. ["Who's spending the night with you?"] "My friend."
    • —Another one!
    • —One nuttier than the last.
  124. "'Are you calling me a liar? ...
    • Well then, are you calling me a jerk?"
    • —Bad idea.
    • —The answer's, no! ...
    • If that's so, let me think about it.
  125. ["Who cares?"] "I don't; do you?"
    • —Not alone.
    • —Once a week.
  126. "You'll do."
    • —It's genetic.
    • —It's weird, isn't it?
  127. "Big one! – Where did you go?"
    • —Without limits.
    • —Where there's no fog.
  128. "Don't be a girl."
    • —Nobody minds.
    • —Because the Red Sox lost.
  129. "Oh, I'm not going to leave him! – Not yet."
    • —Stick around!
    • —What can I say?
  130. "If you're not confused, you're not thinking."
    • —Not anymore.
    • —It's too bad it isn't true.
  131. "Do you want a little kitty?"
    • —Just vicious.
    • —It's intimidating, isn't it? – Help me!
  132. "That was a nice stop." [Sarcastically]
    • —Even less.
    • —I don't see this as an occupation.
  133. "You've got guts."
    • —Worse!
    • —It runs in the family.
  134. "Hey, don't get your panties in a bunch."
    • —Smarten up!
    • —Everything like that.
  135. [How to stick up for your girlfriend
    • when someone insults her]
    • —That's impressive.
    • —Real rustic.
  136. ["I was a year too young for my class in first grade, and beyond that, immature for my age."]
    • "It's good you can admit that."
    • —It's deeper.
    • —Too bad more people don't do that.
  137. "Do you want my risotto?" [from a stranger]
    • —Not today.
    • —It gives you something to do.
  138. "You staying here, folks?" [Trying to grab your bags outside the hotel]
    • —We'll see.
    • —That's another question.
  139. "You don't sweat much for a fat lady."
    • —Hard times.
    • —If you're big, you don't have to be mean.
  140. "Did it rain over the weekend?"
    • —It's better.
    • —Everything that happens, it's better.
  141. [Someone playing possum on the living room sofa]
    • —Right!
    • —"Astronomers Sleeping – Please Be Quiet."
  142. "Did you notice I'm wearing flowers?"
    • —Absolutely!
    • —Now especially.
  143. "What is there, an echo? – I just said that!"
    • —Well, okay!
    • —Don't cheat me.
  144. "Let's stay away from all that shit."
    • —Not major.
    • —I'm all for that.
  145. "Hey! Slow down, man! ... SLOW DOWN!"
    • —Totally natural!
    • —Why wait? ... I'm an American!
  146. "Good choice."
    • —Very nice.
    • —Like a leopard in a tree.
  147. "Is the convention still in town?"
    • —Soon enough.
    • —They have a master plan.
  148. "Don't be so negative ... Why won't you be my friend?"
    • —Either way.
    • —I don't want to end up like the morons
    • around here ... Let's go by intuition.
  149. "Maybe it's just as well, you know?"
    • —Can't hurt!
    • —You just keep doing things until things turn out.
  150. "Oh, I'm sorry!"
    • —Pretty much.
    • —You're a wonderful person.
  151. "Sorry about that." [Insincerely]
    • —Very serious.
    • —And how, I know.
  152. "I'm going right home and take a nice hot bath."
    • —Saved again!
    • —I'm glad I don't have to see that.
  153. "How many inches are in a yard?"
    • —It's overwhelming.
    • —You probably had a hard week.
  154. "How come no one's interested in being friendly to you?"
    • —Well, anyway.
    • —It's handy, in case you didn't know.
  155. "Well, I'll let you go."
    • —That's it.
    • —For now.
  156. "Don't give away the farm."
    • —Fear not.
    • —Are you a handicapped tomato?
  157. "Do you want me to leave the door open?
    • —Big time!
    • —Is that a test?
  158. "I've been known to go shopping on the other side of town."
    • —See that?
    • —Is there anything wrong with that?
  159. "Party pooper!"
    • —Very strict.
    • —Live and let live.
  160. "I won't dignify that question with an answer."
    • —Not bad.
    • —That was most of it.
  161. "Do what you want – I don't give a damn."
    • —Big change!
    • —I'm just a person.
  162. "These guys are faggots." [Three guys passing two guys on the street]
    • —Not yet.
    • —That wasn't smart.
  163. "He's still a Mama's boy!"
    • —I'll swear!
    • —Would it do any good?
  164. "Shut your little effeminate mouth."
    • —Or vice versa.
    • —Laugh, or I'll kill the lobster.
  165. "Restroom for our customer!"
    • —Something better!
    • —Allow me to dream a little longer – It must be hideous.
  166. "It's a little sad at the end."
    • —Oh, great!
    • —It's not sad if you don't expect too much.
  167. "What's your schedule this week?"
    • —Another thrill.
    • —Why should we be cheap?
  168. "Okay, Mister Pacifist."
    • —Or something.
    • —Something much more efficient.
  169. ["I'm a throwback."] "It's good to know yourself." [Condescendingly]
    • —It was.
    • —I'm in solidarity with dogs and angry children.
  170. "Are you on the rag?"
    • —You're strong.
    • —Feed your family!
  171. "HEY, YOU DIRTY WHORE!"
    • —KEEP GOING!
    • —They turn women into men, and men into idiots ... AND DON"T STOP.
  172. "It must be that time of month." [To a woman]
    • —It's devastating.
    • —If it isn't, so what?
  173. "It's a tragedy."
    • —Too soon.
    • —Did you work hard today?
  174. "It's clear – Run the red light! – Go ahead! – Make the turn! – No one's around."
    • —I'm sure.
    • —What do YOU have to lose? ...
    • It's a bad sign.
  175. "Who cares?"
    • —Even now.
    • —Some people ... Try harder! ... Not you!
  176. "I hate it! — What do you think?" [About her haircut]
    • —Spare me!
    • —I don't care what the angels say to you.
  177. "Looks like you brought us a little rain."
    • —Big tragedy.
    • —It's going to get uglier.
  178. "Nice guy!" [Sarcastically]
    • —Above all!
    • —More than you would imagine.
  179. "Having a nice day?" [Sarcastically]
    • —No wonder.
    • —Buy a Chevy and go to Church on Sunday.
  180. "So you had a nice Thanksgiving?"
    • —I hope.
    • —Expect more!
  181. "I love you!"
    • —Not many.
    • —Think twice.
  182. "Smile!"
    • —What then?
    • —Why shouldn't I smile?
  183. "Can you smile for me? – Is that too hard to do?"
    • —Be honest.
    • —Nobody's home!
  184. [The silent treatment]
    • —More so!
    • —Do I look like an alien to you? ... I meant it as a joke!
  185. "Make it more understandable. You can't help me, if I can't understand what you are trying to say. Please take this advice seriously. I would!"
    • —And furthermore!
    • —Don't be surprised.
  186. "Fair enough."
    • —All set.
    • —Just say no to giving away money.
  187. "I told your boss about you ... You have trouble with authority figures."
    • —No sweat.
    • —As it is written, so shall it be done ...
    • As if you're not supposed to.
  188. "The problem is, I don't believe your figures."
    • —We'll wait.
    • —I'm not sorry I asked, but could we set it aside?
  189. "You just don't understand."
    • —So much!
    • —For obvious reasons.
  190. "You're welcome." [Dark sarcasm]
    • —Or whatever.
    • —That would help, huh?
  191. "Don't you feel guilty?"
    • —For nothing!
    • —Take a step back.
  192. "Thanks for nothing!"
    • —I'll live.
    • —I won't worry.
  193. "Thanks for sharing that with us."
    • —Home free!
    • —It's hard enough to pay for my child's education.
  194. "Good morning; you're late."
    • —Worse yet.
    • —I'm going to appoint you to be the timekeeper.
  195. "You're a little late." [Catching you by surprise]
    • —Before that.
    • —It depends on your plan.
  196. "You're late!"
    • —I'll cry.
    • —Even if it isn't true.
  197. "Why are you late?"
    • —Something fierce!
    • —It shortens the day – It's in the contract – Small print.
  198. "Kicking your ass would be a pleasure."
    • —Bad, huh?
    • —You're a person, too.
  199. "Did you watch the movie? Do you still have your ticket?" [Three thugs cornering you outside the theater]
    • —Pretty wicked.
    • —You have no idea how bad it was.
  200. "Oh, you threw it away." [Maliciously] ... "Drop dead."
    • —Many more!
    • —I don't want to get into it – It's against my better
    • judgment ... Yeah, things like that.
  201. "It ain't over between you and me."
    • —It's murder!
    • —That's what you save money for.
  202. "Why do you talk to Jeff during class?"
    • [Nine-year-old girl baiting fourteen-year-old girl]
    • —I'm waiting.
    • —To annoy you a little.
  203. "I don't pay you for that."
    • —Someone must.
    • —You're not big on details, are you?
  204. "Better get back to work on that."
    • —Or else!
    • —I don't want to overdo it.
  205. "Like in a marriage: You always have something to say back."
    • —Really dark.
    • —I have lots of shiners though!
  206. "Would you rather have me bash your face in?"
    • —It's ridiculous.
    • —What about the face on the barroom floor?
  207. ["We're doing the same thing!"] "No we're not! You have to come to our workshops! We teach people centering."
    • —There's options.
    • —You're going to get around to that?
  208. "What the hell kind of game are you playing?"
    • —I'm easy.
    • —Alcohol: It does so much for you and asks for so little in return.
  209. "No one asked your opinion."
    • —Missed out.
    • —No one's even real.
  210. "It's all in our best interest, believe me."
    • —Wild, huh?
    • —It's like a paper clip.
  211. "I can see you're shy."
    • —Just normal.
    • —Ostrich land – They don't want to stick their head out – get it cut off.
  212. "You can't please all the people all the time."
    • —Must you?
    • —Well, to make money.
  213. "I find that offensive."
    • —Or worse!
    • —Where I come from, and I said that, no one would bat an eye.
  214. ["I'm from New Jersey."] "Well, when I was in New Jersey, I fucked your mother."
    • —Oh, definitely!
    • —No, that's not true – You're still alive.
  215. "Are you happy working in this job for nine years?"
    • —Nothing complicated.
    • —I can't deny a part of me is always happy.
  216. "You really should put in a lawn, it would set off the flower beds so well."
    • —Watch out!
    • —I dabble in trouble.
  217. "By the way, we do think you should call your mother more often."
    • —Someone might.
    • —Keep track of that.
  218. "Well, I want your name ... I'm going to report you."
    • —Certainly not.
    • —Well, I want YOUR name, and I'm going to report you to MY superior for interfering with my job ...
    • Next! ... I don't need any more confrontation.
  219. "This is a private meeting ... Can we have some privacy?"
    • —Great timing!
    • —A big powwow ... Hatching another plot.
  220. "A very cute little book."
    • —That's all?
    • —It's right out of Dickens, right?
  221. "You don't mind if I open this window, do you?" [Having already opened it]
    • —Better off.
    • —Don't get caught!
  222. "YOU STUPID BITCH! YOU LIED TO ME!"
    • —Au contraire.
    • —How could you tell me that?
  223. [Unintelligible mumbling] "HOW COULD YOU HAVE LIED TO ME ALL THIS TIME?"
    • —It's easy.
    • —Cats are slinky.
  224. "How do you make money?"
    • —That'll help.
    • —It's the first business that never made any money – since the Church!
  225. "Are you spending very much money?"
    • —No reason.
    • —I figured that out.
  226. "WHAT!?" [She's wearing a microskirt]
    • —No shit!
    • —TOO HOT! ... I'm sure I don't know.
  227. "Oh, boy, you're going to get some hot pussy tonight!"
    • [Street person trailing you and your date after you've seen a play in a seedy theater district]
    • —There's hope.
    • —Any tips? ... Didn't he have a great technique?
  228. ["I went to Dartmouth."]
    • "I applied there, but I didn't get in."
    • —Nobody knows.
    • —Did you know that you're riding with the Mozart of cab drivers?
  229. "Maybe you can get a higher-paying job."
    • —But why?
    • —I think your job is so severe.
Author
mbr01
ID
13070
Card Set
MIND CANDY 1
Description
MIND CANDY 2
Updated

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