response dieting

  1. i can eat this now, and make up for it later.
    when has "making up for it later" ever worked?
  2. i hardly ever get to eat this.
    you can eat this if you have planned to eat it. otherwise, you'll feel really bad for doing it--ashamed, despairing. plan to eat this another day, and get a chance to really enjoy it!
  3. everyone else is eating this, and i'm tired of feeling left out.
    eating a certain food only makes you feel left out if YOU think it does. if you look around, people eat all sorts of food that works for them and refuse foods that don't. your connection to these people isn't just food--it is also conversation, affection, experience.
  4. i really want that food now, even though i'm not hungry.
    this is just a desire to eat. as soon as i turn my focus to something different, the desire to eat will fade. i'm not going to eat it, and in a few moments i'll be so glad and proud that i didn't.
  5. i'm so stressed out, and this food will really calm me down. and the truth is, a food trance is real and i deserve it--i can't always be eating uncomforting stuff.
    thank heaven i have learned some yoga tools of the trade. i can change the focus of my thoughts, gently, from one thing to another. i can still my mind, and discover what calmness lies beneath the frantic food chatter of my mind. calmness is my center, and is unrelated to food. food can numb me, but cannot actually calm me. once numb, the chatter of shame and despair will start up, and that is hardly calm!
  6. i just don't have time to do this today.
    you will eat anyway. you will have to prepare something regardless to put in your mouth. make the best choice available to you now, rather than the easiest choice. you'll feel great that you did that in a few moments.
  7. i'm at a restaurant and i can pick whatever i want from the menu. yum yum lasagne!
    eating right for me takes shopping, planning, preparing. so eating out is a really easy way for me to eat great vegetables simply prepared and stick with my plan! how easy is that--no shopping, cleaning, cutting etc and i get to eat well, get mental clarity, strong energy, soul strength instead of shame and despair.
  8. i'm hungry and we're going out. we won't get served for another couple of hours and i'll eat the bread basket waiting. i'll just have a hand full of nuts or a piece of cheese now to take the edge off.
    i'm just a bit hungry now. i can be hungry and i won't die. being hungry before eating makes the food taste better. i can skip the bread without difficulty using my new techniques, and i'll feel so much better not having an "extra meal" before dinner. if i'm panicked, i can eat a small apple.
  9. planning is so deliberate, and takes all the fun out of eating. i deserve to enjoy my food just like everyone else. i can plan on the go and make good choices as i go.
    actually, my planning on the go hasn't worked for me in the past. this is one of beck's ten skills and i need to trust that people who keep weight off use this skill. a new way to "enjoy" food is to eat food that makes me feel strong, healthy, energetic, and proud. the old way, "enjoy" by stuffing a moment of sizzle for hours? days? of shame and despair--well, what kind of enjoyment is that? really?
  10. there are good foods and bad foods, and i should never eat bad foods.
    i can eat favorite foods, in planned portions, in my plan up to once daily if i choose. new thing this--planning the food makes it "good". i can actually enjoy a "bad" food without guilt if i plan it. new new thing!
  11. i just cheated. i've blown my diet, so i may as well finish off this plate and start again tomorrow.
    ok, i got derailed. no big deal. i can actually start right now to get back on track and then how happy and proud i will be that i turned around right on a dime! now that is the skill i want, practicing my resistance muscle right at the edge like this! i can do this!
  12. this is too hard. i'm just giving up. i'll start again when i get back from this trip.
    it feels hard right this minute, but this feeling is temporary. i'm going to practice getting back on track right this red hot moment! it is my new special skill, and i can practice it right here in front of everyone and it is my secret! i love my ability to change my focus, gently, and get to happy and proud that i can do this instead of the shame of just giving in, again.
  13. i'm just a weak person when it comes to food and dieting.
    i know that i'm practicing these skills, and the more i practice, the stronger i will get. i will gain control--i'm learning how to be strong. it is going to get easier the more i use my resistance muscle. this is good, i can do this.
  14. i'll just eat this little crumb--what can that matter? it is only, what, fifty calories? twenty?
    when you say yes to unplanned food, even if you're only eating crumbs, you make it more likely that you will give in the next time...and then next...and the next. this is why every single bite of unplanned food matters. it's not just the calories, it's the habit. so every time matters.
  15. there is only a small piece of garlic bread left in the basket--i'll love eating that!
    no, i'm not going to have it. remember yesterday when i skipped the last piece of bacon? and i felt really good about it? i did it then so i know i can do it now. this is a bit of a struggle right now, because i'm still developing this skill. but when i do it--resist--i'm putting power into my resistance muscle and getting strong! look at me go!!! proud is much better than that damn niggling shame!
  16. planning is silly--who plans their food all day? crazy people? abnormal people? i'm smart--i don't need to plan
    planning is just part of this picture that has been proven to work for keeping weight off. if you don't PLAN your food, you won't know when you have stuck to your plan and can feel strong, confident, and proud! and your boundary of shame and despair will not exist, so that will follow you around relentlessly. this simple planning tool, gives you the way to resist and the pride in doing so! this is the game, so play it!
  17. i eat alone, and a book is my companion. of course i can read and eat. it was in the book--when you get the skill, you can wiggle the edges a bit. i'm smart--i don't need to worry about this.
    when has smart been the practice? this is a practice, not an iq test. in fact you don't have the skill of paying attention to each bite, of enjoying each bite. and it is going to take practice, bite by bite, until you really feel the enjoyment, until you really do slow down, until food really is your friend instead of your enemy.
  18. putting my fork down while i chew each bite is childish and demeaning. i'm smarter than that. i have better things to do than eat.
    my eating behavior of fast and furious and numb has gotten me this far and unhappy. i will have to gently play with eating differently, including faking it until i make it. including treating my Eater as a child, with compassion. slowly with consistent care and compassion, my Eater will mature and come to really enjoy food. Really develop a new relationship with food. in the beginning, it will feel forced and unnatural but with practice will become a part of me.
  19. i eat fast because i have better things to do.
    i have to eat regardless of speed or other activities, and since i have to anyway, i can make it the wonder that it is for many. in the beginning, this will feel silly and stupid, but with time and consistency and compassion, my relationship with food will flower into love.
  20. i just don't have time for this business. i travel a lot, i have three houses to maintain plus all the paperwork, so this is just too much of an energy drain.
    as i learn to eat for nourishment and pleasure, as i learn to eat more foods that support clear mind and good energy, i will become more productive as well as happier.
  21. i am a total failure at this and cannot change my relationship to food. i'm too old to change. my habits are too deeply ingrained to change. i can't do it.
    awareness is the first crucial step and you have made that step. the rest is just baby steps, day after day, hour after hour, to the best of your ability in the moment. it will become easier with practice. you have the focus awareness and are developing the skills to redirect your mind into more fruitful areas. you are nowhere near a total failure at this. you didn't have the skills before and you are gaining them, skill by challenging skill, day by day.
  22. i'm too old to do this.
    you are old and getting older and there is no time, ever, that is better than this moment to change your focus which changes everything.... you will get older anyway, so why not change with choice? you are changing anyway, so why not choose your change?
  23. my eating is automatic--i don't know how i end up finishing the bowl or the plate. since it is automatic, i can't control it.
    digestion is automatic. eating is not. i think something before i eat. i am learning to recognize that thought(s) and instead of letting it rule me, i am going to talk back to it. these skills require practice--first just learning to catch the thought. making response cards and reading them daily. practice practice practice.
  24. this skill stuff is baloney. it doesn't work. i read the whole book, i know the answers, but it doesn' work.
    this is not only about knowing, but about practising. as surely as a muscle gets stronger when you lift weights, as you practice experiencing these skills, not just knowing them, you will find it indeed works.
  25. response cards don't work. i made em and read em and i'm still fat.
    two responses to this. the operative word here is eventually reading the cards will change the pathways in your brain, which will change your behavior, which will result in weight loss. once you can automatically answer sabotaging thoughts with your responses, sticking to your diet gets dramatically easier. THEN you know it works. keep practicing until you get there. the second part of this response is that it will take as many times as it takes for the new pathways to be built. period. but success is happening every time you resist. no matter what the scales say, you win every single time you resist. every single time you practice a new behavior. every single time.
  26. you only really get credit when you cross the finish line.
    every step is a winning step when you are headed to your goal. every step. even every part of every step. in the beginning every part of every step is a mountain climbed, sweat and pain. but with practice, you will be sprinting up these mountains singing your heart with joy.
  27. i'm all alone. i can't do this. it is too hard.
    blessed always, blessed always-- for the arms of god surround us. let our joy be so triumphant, that we rest in god and say amen.
  28. this doesn't work for me. i don't feel any different, never mind weighing any less.
    for years you have numbed yourself from anything related to food. your relationship has been frozen solid. it is fake it until you make it time. aa was right about that. keep pointing your focus toward these behaviors. eat until you feel full--even though you can't feel any sense of empty or full. keep placing your attention upon your stomach and that area, and the sensations will come. this freezing will thaw, and you will delight in the act of eating, in your relationship with food. but it will take time, practice, gentleness, compassion. you can do that, to the best of your ability, at the moment.
Card Set
response dieting
response dieting