Interpersonal Communication

interpersonal attraction- form a relationship

physical attraction-attraction to physical appearance

social attraction- attracted to personality

tack- attracted to ability and dependability

1) proximity

2) similarity

3) complementarity

Theory suggesting that people are motivated to reduce their uncertianty about others

theory predicting that we form relationships when we think the effort will be worth it

theory perdicting that people seek to form and maintian relationships in which the beneifts outweigh the costs

your realistic expectation of what you think you deserve from a relationship

your assessment of how good your current realtionship is, compared with your other options

a theory predicting that a good relationship is one in which your ratio of costs and reqards is equal to your partners

state in which your relational rewards exceed your relational costs

the state in which your relational costs exceed your relational rewards

• 1) friendships are voluntary
• 2) friends are usually peers
• 3) friendships are governed by rules
• 4) friendships differ by sex
• 5) friendships have a life span

• keep secrets
• help when needed
• provide support
• respect friends privacy

• 1) Role-limited interactions
• 2)Friendly relations
• 3) Moved toward friendship
• 4) Nascent friendship
• 5) Stabilized friendship
• 6) Waning friendship

• people meet and interact for the first time
• share little personal info

• convo becomes friendlier
• share personal sotries
• can be invite for friendship

• go places together
• moves toward friendship stage
• communication becomes more social and less bound by norms and rules

• think of themselves as friends
• communication continues to become more personal

• friendship fully established
• trust is storng
• adjust attitudes and opinions more in line with each other

• decline of friendship
• more distant or terminate

• 1) require deep commitment
• 2) foster interdependence
• 3) require continuous investment
• 4) spark dialectical tensions

desire to be own person v.s. connection

expressing feeling and thoughts v.s. not sharing

same pattern v.s. new experiences (keeping things fresh)

1) some rr are exclusive; others arent

2) some rr are voluntary; others arent

3) some rr are based on love; others arent

4) some rr involve opposite-sex partners; others arent

5) some rr are permanent; others arent

• 1) Initaing
• 2) Experimenting
• 3) Intensifying
• 4) Integrating
• 5) Bonding

stage of relationship developement when people mee and interact for the first time

• partners have conversation to learn more about eachother
• small talk
• see you want to take relationship further

• People move from being acquaintances to being close friends
• Formal dating
• share intimate info

• developement of a deep commitment
• sense that the relationship has its own idenitiy
• "WE"
• socalize with the same type of couples
• committed relationship has developed

• partners make a public announcement of commitment
• EX. marriage

• 1) DIfferentiating
• 2) Circumscribing
• 3) Stagnating
• 4) Avoiding
• 5) Terminating

partners being to see their differences as undesirable or annoying

• decreased quality and quantity of communication behaviors
• spend more time apart
• when together they dont talk about problems
• "safe topics"

• couples barely communicate with each other
• "going through the motions"
• avoid talking about problems because you dont want conflict
• stay in this stage for a while

• partners create physical and emotional distance between each other
• ex. moving out of the house
• "I cant be around you right now"
• this stage can make or break realionship

• relationship is to be offically over
• break up or divorce

• 1) Families are influenced by thir enviorment
• 2) Family members are interdependent
• 3) FAmilies are more than the sum of their parts
• 4) Family systems include smaller subsystems

• 1) Roles
• 2) Rituals
• 3) Stories
• 4) Secrets

• 1) its natural
• 2) has content, relational, and procedural deminsions
• 3) can be direct or indirect
• 4) can be harmful
• 5) can be benefical

• Men are tought not to hurt women
• passive aggression
• Men are taught to engage in conflict directly

• Depand withdraw pattern
• women say "we need to talk"

• Individualistic v.s. collectivistic
• Depand withdraw Pattern
• High or low context cultures

• 1) reward
• 2) coercive
• 3) referent
• 4) legitimate
• 5) expert

power that derives fromt he ability to reward

power based on the ability to punish

power that derives from ones attraction to or admiration for another

power based on legitimate status or position

power that derives from ones talent, experience, trainign, experience, or knowledge

Problematic Behaviors during conflict

5 types of conflict styles

• 1) Critism
• 2) Contempt
• 3) Deffensiveness
• 4) Stonewalling

the expression of complaints about another party

Expression of insults and attacks on another's self worth

Tendency to deny validity of criticisms directed at the self

behavior withdrawing from a convo of an interaction

• 1) Competing
• 2) Avoiding
• 3) Accommodating
• 4) compromising
• 5) Collaborating

your goal is to win while other party loses

involves ignoring or falling to deal with the conflict

gives in to the party's needs and desires while suboordinating one's own

Both parties give up something they want so both can recieve something they want

working toward a solution that meets both paries needs

bodys multidimensional response to an event that enhances or inhibits one's goals

feeling often has no identifiable cause

1) Happiness- contentment, pleasure, joy

2) Love- Caring for attracted to, commited to someone

3) Passion- secondary emotion consisting of joy, and surprise, excotement and attraction for another

4) Liking- positive over all evaluation of another person

1) Anger- emotional response to being wronged

2) Contempt- leeds you to feel you are better than someone else

3) Disgust- feeling of revulsion in reation to something offensive

4) Jealousy- existance or quality of an important relationship is being threatened by a third party

5) Envy- desire for something another person has

1) Sadness- emotion feeling unhappy, sorrowful and discouraged usually as a result of some form of loss

2) Depression- physical illness involving faituge, weight loss, thoughts of suicide

3) Grief- Emotional proess of dealing with profound loss

4) Fear- mind and bodys reaction to percieved danger

• 1) Multidimensional
• 2) vary in valence and intensity
• 3) primary and secondary forms
• 4) meta- emotions

Emotions are physiological

Emotions are cognitive

Emotions are behavioral

Emotions are social and cultural

positivity or negativity of an emotion

How high or low the emotions is

distinct emotional experiences not consisting of combinations of other emotions

joy, sadness, anger, fear, suprise, and digust

Emotions ocmpused of combinations of primary emotions

emotion about emotion

unwritten codes that govern the ways people manage and express emotions

• 1) Intensification
• 2) De- intensification
• 3) Simulation
• 4) Inhibition
• 5) Masking

exaggerating emotion to appear as though you are experiencing it more intensity than you are

acting as though youre furious when youre only mildly annoyed

downplaying an wmotion to appear as though you are experiencing it less intensly than you are

acting as though youre mildly annoyed when you are actually furious

acting as though youre feeling an emotion that you actually arent experiencing

acting as though youre fuerious when you indifferent

acting as though youre indifferent or emotionless when youre actually experiencing an emotion

acthing as though you are indifferent when you are actually furious

expressing one emotion when you are feeling another

acting as though youre furious when youre actually sad

tendency to minic the emotional experiences and expressions of another

ability to percieve and understand emotions, use emotions to facillitate thuoght, and manage emotions constructively