Sexuality and Sexual Expression throughout life
- Sexual identity
- •Our awareness of ourselves as male or female and the ways in which we express our sexual values, attitudes, feelings, and beliefs.
- •It involves expected behaviors in the category created by society.
- Sexual orientation:
- •The enduring emotional, romantic, sexual, or affectional attraction we feel toward others (i.e., whether an individual is drawn to a partner of the same sex or the
- opposite sex
- •A preference for sexual partners of the same sex, the opposite sex, both sexes, or neither sex
- 4 types sexual orientation:
- •Heterosexuals (straight) are attracted to partners of the opposite sex.
- •Homosexuals are sexually attracted to people of the same sex.
- •Bisexuals (bi’s) are attracted to members of both sexes.
- •Asexuals lack any interest in or desire for sex.
- What determines sexual orientation?
- Biological reasons: •Region of the X chromosome may hold a “gay gene” resulting in male homosexuality
- •Size of the hypothalumus (regulate sex drive)
- •No evidence of biological influence on homosexuality
- Social Constructionist theories: social pressure and culture
- no study has shown conclusively that there is a gay gene or that the environment causes sexual orientation
- Symbolic-interactionist perspective:
- Holds that women and men are influenced by the sexual scripts (shared, gender-specific social and cultural expectations that guide our beliefs, attitudes, and values
- about sex, such as our beliefs about appropriate sexual partners, sexual behaviors, and sexual conduct) that they learn from their culture.
- sexual scripting framework: societal and cultural
- processes ultimately determine and prescribe what we perceive as “sexual” and how we behave sexually
- sexual scripts serves 2 purposes:
- provide us a framework for normaive and and expected sexual behavior
- provide roadmap of sorts of us, gives us direction (think, feel and act) (with whom, how, how often, when, where, why)
sex with multiple partners, sexual dysfunctions (insurance companies), female genital mutilation
- Negotiating sexual expression:
- Divergent sexual scripts for the two gender
- Men accept more recreational sex vs. women
- Women are more interested in romance vs. men are more interested in sex
- Four standards of nonmarital sex
- Permissiveness with affection: (Nonmarital intercourse involving affectionate relat.)
- Permissiveness without affection: (Nonmarital intercourse with or without affection in the relat.) causal sex
- The double standard
Dating and Mate selection
- 3 ways to choose a mate across culture:
- marriage by capture: (collectivist/ partriachal societies)
- marriage by arrangment (most common, parents as matchmakers)- price, social status, coninuous, sororate and leviate arrangments
- free-choice: love, individualistic societies
- Gender: evolutionary theory (bio of males/ females)
- Culture: social construction theory, difference in understanding of romantic love
- Evol Theory: romantic atttraction is a cultural means to a bio end (men look for beauty and women who can bear children, women look for protect/provide)
- Social Construction: (filter) get all the edu u can, make something happen, action-oriented approach, gather all the facts
- The filter Theory of Mate Selection:
- cultural filters: exoagamous (pool of eligibles)/ endogamous (95%)
- sociological filters: propinquity (geographic closesness), homogamy (similarities)
- phychological filters: complementary needs, reward-cost for profit, desired personailty charac.
- People engage in greater self-disclosure with strangers
- because a stranger does not have access to a person’s social circle.
Mate selection in Chinese Cultures
Lioan Shanbo and Zhu Yintai:
- factors in decision-making:
- sociocultural contests: homogamy, parental approval
- exchange theories: rewards, costs
constraints of love marriage in specific cultural, social, and geo contests
modern version match making corner in Shanghai, challenges, exchange theory
Mail order like birdes:
commonificiatin of int'l marriage, sociodeomographic change, exchange theory (an exchange of the man’s economic resources for the woman’s youth and attractiveness (some times the woman’s domestic skills/labor).
deinstitutionalizaiton of marriage: alternatives to marriage
motivations for marriage:
love/romance, personal fulfillment, companionship, parenthood, economic security
Function of marriage:
- structural functional theory: marriage and fmaily contribute to society
- marry in terms of societal needs or demand for legit children doesn't take into account ind'l motivation factors
- principle of legitimacy: socially and legally recog. by father, freedom to be sexually active vs, freedom to conceive children outside of marriage, marriage is based on official control of childbearing
regulate sexual behavior/ stabilize adult personalities, bind male and female, provide phyical care of young, socialize them to be productive members of society who will replace after death
Marriage in U.S:
- Marriage as a legal contract:
- legal marriage: agreement, defined by state
- social marriage: cohabitate and engage in behavior, w/o engaging in a marriage ceremony that is validated by state
29 states with constitutional amendments restricting marriage to one man and one woman.
- Benefits of Marriage: gov, joint insurance, retirement, medial decisions, care of children, wrongful death benefits, dv protection orders, joint parenting, tax, inheritance, divorce, hospital visitation, corpse
- expectations of permanence, expectations of sexual exclusivitity
- ◦Marriage rate has declined (11.1% in 1950 to 7.8% in 2004)
- ◦Divorce rate is high today (3.7%) than in 1950 (2.6%)
- ◦Birthrate has steadily declined from 24.1% (1950) to 14.0% (2004).
- What contributes to the deinstitutionalization of marriage:
- Changing division of labor in the home and women’s participation in the labor force
- Increase acceptance of childbearing outside of marriage
- Increase acceptance of singlehood and voluntary childlessness
- Moving away from institutional marriage to individualized marriage
- Growth of cohabitation
- Growth of same-sex relationships and marriages
- GLBT acceptance
- It is estimated between 4% to 10% of adults in the
- U.S. are exclusively or substantially homosexual
- In 2003, approx. 700,000 same-sex households in the U.S.
- GLBT accecptance:
- Massa first
- 8 states permit gay marriage
- Nevada, Oregon and Wash permit domestic partnerships
- Let's Get Married" video
- linked divorce to crimes, dropouts, welfare, and out of wedlock children
- created "next generation of monsters"
- linked to "America's social ills"
- goal: solved the marriage problem, solve social problem
- started marriage moviement
- hosted Smart marriages annual conference
- institutionalized the covenenat marriage option
Marriage and Communication
- Trigger for marital conflicts:
- money: 51% dont talk about money before marriage, 84% money problems
- division of labor: 62% says its important
- sexual infidelity: not a common ocurance
- children: different philosophies, children in remarriage
6 Hidden Issues: control and power, needing and caring, recognitition, commitment, integrity, acceptance
- Successful Marriage:
- compatibility: happier with similar personalities
- flexibilitiy: give and take, adjust to their differences
- positive attitudes: like each other, romantic bliss= higher divorce rate,
- emotional support: more important
- communication and conflict resolution: key ingredient
- Circumplex Model:
- levels of coehions: disengaged, separated, connected, enmeshed,
- flexibility: chaotic, flexible, strcutured, rigid
- Fitzpatrick (marital ideology)
- interdependent couples: level of sharing/ disclosure
- separates: satisfied if they avoided jarring conflicts
- mixed couples: dissatisfaction, dissimilar ideologies
- Huston/Meiz (2004) predict collapse of union
- absense of pos affect and presence of neg affet
- decline of love and affection
- show pos affection by: little things, listen, interest, fun
- Gottman 4 horsman of apocalypse
- contempt: inferior and undersirable-name calling
- criticism: disapproving judgements
- defenseiveness: getting ready for upcoming attack
- stonewalling: resistance, refusing to listen to complaints
- belligernece(later): provacative and challenging to spouse authority
Beligerence, contempt, and defensiveness were coded as high-intensity, negative affect.
Anger, sadness, whining, disgust, and fear were coded as low-intensity negative affect.
- 10rules to successful relationship
- 1. Express your love verbally
- 2. Be physically affectionate
- 3. Express your appreciation and even admiration
- 4. self-disclosure
- 5. Offer each other an emotional support system
- 6. Express your love materially
- 7. Accept your partner’s demands and put up with your partner’s shortcomings
- 8. Make time to be alone together
- 9. Do not take your relationship for granted
- 10. Do unto each other as you would have the other do unto you
Transition to Parenthood
- Motivations for Parenthood:personal identity, meaning/purpose of life, satisfaction lacking in jobs, exercise authority
- costs and benefits of children
- benefits: joy, fulfillment, rite of passage
- costs: $231,000 to 18 for middle income, about 21% of earnings, child rearing, emotional, interpersonal relational costs, opportutnity cost (mommy tax, edu opport)
Total Fertility rate
- should your partner agree?
- planners: discuss issue and decide
- acceptance-of-fate: pleasantly surprised
- ambivalent couples: mixed feelings
- yes-no couples: one partner may not want child
(TFR): # of births a typical women will have over lifetime
- Fertility Trends in US:
- economy: cost of living rise, women with jobs
- declining infant mortality: medicine
- improvments of contraceptive methods
- women with higher edu
- demographic variables: foreign born, native born
- More likely to have children: women not in labor force, less edu, low income, ppl of color
- Ethnic grp with highest fertility: hispanic
- lowest fertility rate: native american/alaskan
- reasons: hispanic migrated from nations with high birthrates
- Socioemotional Behavior:
- Even though parents become more involved in child-care responsibilities and are restricted to certain types of
- leisure activities, the amount of affection they express in their marriages remains constant compared to nonparent couples.
- How do parent couples maintain their quality marital relationships?
- Shifting their lifestyle toward a working partnership
- Wives focus more on the child
- Husbands sacrifice their preferred leisure activities