FCD 3355

Cohabitators tend to be: younger, less educated, have less income, less likely to own their homes, more likely to be non-white and more likely to have been sexually abused

Many see cohabitation as chance to test compatibility

• Twice as likely to be interracial
• Cohabiting women tend to be several years older than married women and earning more than their partners
• Cohabiting couples tend to be more non-traditional in their roles
• Relationships tend to be short-term, less than one year. Either break up or get married in that time frame.
• Cohabitors tend to be less happy with relationships. Higher incidence of depression, more sex outside of relationship

• Domestic partners-joint residence and finances plus statement of loyalty and commitment
• Residence- are both partners on the lease?
• Joint bank accounts- either partner can withdraw all money
• Power of attorney for finances- without this, court decided who is in control of finances
• Credit cards and charge accounts- if both parties are on the account, both are responsible
• Health care decisions- power of attorney for health care
• Children-
• Co-parenting agreement that spells out rights and responsibilities of each partner
• Nomination of guardianship that adds language to a will or living trust
• A consent to medical treatment form that gives the co-parent the right to authorize medical procedure for a child

• More than 40% of cohabiting heterosexual households contain children under the age of 18
• Study of economically disadvantaged 6 and 7 yr. olds; more problem behaviors among children in various types of unmarried families, including cohabitation.

• Quite similar to heterosexual relationship: need to resolve issues of division of labor, power and decision-making, sexual exclusitivity
• Same-sex partners of both genders tend to have more equality and role sharing than in heterosexual marriages
• Discrimination may add stress to their relationship
• Stress may lead to higher rates of domestic violence in same-sex relationships vs. heterosexual couples

• 2008- 565,000 same sex couples, approx. 1/2 of same sex couples have children under age 18
• In addition to raising children from a prior marriage, also become parents through adoption, foster care, sexual intercourse or artificial insemination
• For lesbian couples, one partner may give birth to a child that both partners parent
• Children are generally well-adjusted, with no noticeable different terms of behavior, cognitive abilities or emotional development
• No evidence that children of same-sex couples are confused about their gender identity or more likely to be homosexual

• Lower rates of fertility due to increased employment for women outside the home
• Hispanics have highest birth rate and whites have lowest
• Higher education, better off financially, less children
• Ideal is have 2.5 children
• Stigma for large families: mothers seen as uneducated, ignorant of birth control, not attentive enough with children

Social pressures: strong norms against childlessness; have to justify not having children

Emotional significance of parenthood has become important to personal identity and sense of meaning

• Parents can have influence on children they may not have at work
• Children add liveliness to a household with fresh and novel responses to life

links that parenthood provides to social networks and their resources

• In a husband-wife family, 42% of expenses are attributed to children
• Average cost of raising a child born in 2007 to age 18 is $269, 040 (middle income family)

• Opportunities for wages and investments that parents forgo, usually mothers
• Career advancement, loss of family income
• Loss of free tie and stress as costs of leading two lives: family and career

• Young children stabilize marriage but add to stress
• Parents report lower satisfaction than non-parents; more children, lower marital satisfaction

• Pros:
• Physical health, greater freedom later in life, more spontaneity, less of generation gap
• Cons:
• Forgo education, slower start on career ladder, lack of maturity

• Pros:
• Patience, maturity, more money and confidence
• Cons:
• Physical limitations, sense of limited time, may not live to see grandchildren

Benefit from financial and emotional stability; may have anxiety about parents health and mortality

• Increase in single moms; can support themselves and less stigma about out of wedlock births
• "single mothers by choice"- older women with education, established jobs, economic resources

• U.S. has highest teen pregnancy, abortion and birthrate of any industrialized nation
• Teen parents: lack of education, limited job prospects, strong chance of living in poverty

not legally formalized

through liscensed agency

arranged, between adoptive adn biological parents, usually through an attorney

birth and adoptive parents meet or have some knowledge of each other's identity

Majority of older adopted children work out well, but disruption and dissolution increases with children's age

child is returned to agency before adoption is finalized

Child is returned after adoption is finalized

Child may be emotionally damaged or impaired due to drug-addicted parents, physical abuse or previous broken attachments

Defensively shut off willingness and ability to make future attachments

• Higher level of education for parents; likely exposed to knowledge about child development and child rearing
• Technology allows parents to keep track of children
• More fathers emotionally involved
• Internet offers information on virtually any situation

• Parenting role often in conflict with work roles
• Children raised in pluralistic society with diverse and conflict values: school, peers and television
• Knowing that they have major influence on their children can make parents anxious

• Bothered by sleep disruption, going out and sexual expression
• Moms may feel isolated and disconnected
• If dad's involvement meets mom's expectations, the earlier the transition
• If the relationship quality is high, the transition is easier

• the transition to parenthood is unlike other roles, such as work
• Culture pressures us to become parents, once done, can't undo it.
• Most parents have little or no previous experience in childcare, especially new fathers
• Transition is abrupt and sudden
• Requires change in adult's relationship
• Unlike other adult roles, the transition is abrupt and sudden
• Requires changes in couple's relationship

• Tradition of moms having primary responsibility
• Enjoys and intuitively knows what to do; cares for the child without ambivalence or awkwardness; self-sacrificing

• Once expected to be breakwinners, now "good" fathers are actively involved in child care
• "Dead beat Dads"- take no responsibility, financial or otherwise

• More "hands on" parenting
• Do most of the child raising and homemaking

Dads as "helpers"

• Take care of children in much teh same way as mothers who are primary parents
• Face isolation and stereotyping
• Some are laid off and some choose to stay at home

• Low on nurturing and support, high on parental direction and control
• Often use physical or harsh punishment

• Indulgent parent- high on nurturance; low on parental control
• Uninvolved parent (neglectful)- low on nurturance and control

• High on nurturing and provide direction; considered warm, firm and fair
• Encourage child's independence; accepting of child's talents and personality

• Tend to be more depressed, low in self-esteem and poorer school performance
• More likely to have behavioral problems, teen sex and pregnancy and juvenile delinquency

• Tend to do better in school, are socially competent and have relatively high self-esteem
• Cooperative but independent personality

• Research shows that spanking can lead to increased aggression, as well as low self-esteem
• Can produce immediate conformity but long-term can lead to deviance and delinquency
• Spanking is more likely to lead to aggresive behavior

• Emphasize obedience and conformity
• Children tend to have poor nutrition, more illnesses and less safe schools

• Emphasize self-direction and initiative, foster critical thinking and language development
• More options for upper middle class (schools, colleges)

• Attitiudes, behaviors and hopes are similar to those of other parents in their social class
• Middle-class remains vulneralbe to housing and employment discrimination
• Role that parents play in teaching children about racial prejudice and how to deal with it

• Emphasis on personal autonomy and individual choice
• Children seen as gifts valued for their personal uniqueness
• Raised children by using examples and persuasion; shaming rather than corporal punishment
• Traditional childrearing emphasizes unity and cohesiveness with teh tribe and immediate family groups

• Teach traditional values of culture of origin
• May be a generation gap of differing luency and attitudes- may extend to dress
• Hierarchial parenting- Warm support with demand for respect for authority and older family members
• Designed to instill a more collective value system

• Challenge: Tension between parents and children over cultural values and attitudes
• Adolescence: child struggles to find identity and fit in socially

• Family must serve as an insulating and advocating environment
• Racial Socialization- teach pride in cultural heritage but also prepare child for discrimination
• "Balancing Act"- should be taught that there are barriers but also taught they can be overcome

• More than 3.6 million children under 18 are living with g.parents.
• Abuse of alcohol and drugs combined with teen pregnancy, neglect, abandonment and incarceration lead to grandparents households

Make 88 cents for every dollar a man makes

• The negative effect on lifetime earnings
• Work patterns- women have fewer years of experience, work fewer hours, less likely to work full time and leave labor force for longer periods of time

• The "good provider" role: traditional, emerged in 1800's
• 80% of men, age 20-39 years, rated a work schedule with more family time as more desirable than challenging work and high income

• occurs when women come home from work to perform unpaid family work
• Women on average spend 27 hours a week on housework and men 13 hrs.

• Participation is related to degree of equality in earnings
• Unequal sharing of domestic labor associated with marital dissatisfaction
• Perception of fairness correlates more with marital happiness than actual hours spent on domestic work

• Balancing career and family and his and her careers so both careers prosper
• "Trailing Spouse"- spouse relocates to accomodate partners careers (wives more than husbands)
• "Commuter Marriage"- spouses live apart to maintain their careers, those with frequent reunions are happier

• At age 3, found negative relationship to maternal sensitivity and child engagement with child care (not an issue with quality care)
• Faborable outcome in terms of linguistic and language skills with quality care
• As children approach age 5, those who spend longer hours in child care had more behavior problems and conflict with adults
• Family background factors and maternal sensitivity more important to child adjustment than time spent in child care

• Low child-to-staff ratio- 6-8 infants/2 caregivers; 6-12 one and two yr. olds/3 caregivers; 14-20 preschoolers/2 teachers
• Stable staff- Turnover doesn't exceed 25%/yr.
• Well-trained staff- Knowledge about child development
• Cultural sensitivity
• Age-Appropriate and stimulating activ.
• Discipline- How do they handle behavioral problems?
• Relationship w/ Parents- Open and welcome?
• Recommendations from other parents
• Acceditation

• As women share more provider role, men take greater responsibility for household work
• Adjusting to Egalitarian Roles:
• Accept conflict as a reality
• Accept ambivalence- Mixed feelings: He wants her to work but resents doing housework; she wants him to help but resents intrusion on her domain
• Empathize- Goal is for both partners to win
• Mutual Appreciation