What are 2 categories of stressors on marriages today?
External
Internal
There are many 2000 yr old Roman bridges still standing. However, these bridges only allow foot traffic. What comparisons were made from these bridges to marriages today?
If heavy stress was applied to some marriages (more heavy traffic), they would collapse just like the bridges.
What are 2 examples of external stressors?
Natural Adversity
Financial Stress
What are 3 causes of internal stressors?
Personal Imperfections
Selfishnes (Rugged Individualism)
Lack of Attention
What are 4 ways to let the fire burn out in your marriage?
Conflict Habituated
Bury they differences
Live in parallel universes
Let marriage become a corporate merger
Dangerous Undercurrent Quote by Gottman:
“Its as though some powerful, subterranean current takes hold of you both and leads you down a path of negative thinking, destructive feelings, painful action, and reaction, drifting toward isolation and loneliness. What is this mysterious current?” HOW you fight makes a difference and is “one of the most telling ways to diagnose the health of your marriage.”
How can you avoid being pulled under (Gottman Undercurrent Quote)?
2 Ways
Make hidden forces visible
Start to control the direction of your marital journey
What is the current young adult divorce rate?
67%
By what percent has the number of divorces in America increased in the last 30 years?
200%
What percent of US marriages are first marriages?
50%
Since 1970, what percent growth has America seen in Unmarried-couple households?
400%
523,000 - 4 million
According to 1993 federal government statistics, how many babies were born outside of wedlock?
Over 1.2 million (31% of all births)
According to 1993 federal government statistics, what proportion of adolescents contract an STD before they graduate high school?
1/4
In 1995, approximately what percent of women who had a child were not married at the time of the birth?
32%
It was 5.3% in 1960
Currently what percent of women between the ages of 40-45 are childless in America?
17.5%
Up from 10% in 1980
How many abortions are performed annually around the world?
50 million
How many pregnancies end in abortion in America?
Nearly 1/3
Since the 1973 Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision, approximately how many abortions have there been per year?
1.5 million
About half of US women will have an abortion at some point in their life. True or False?
True
Of American women of reproductive age, how many have had an abortion?
1 in 5
More than 996,000 documented cases of child abuse or neglect were confirmed in 1996 in America. True or False?
True
Family well being has declined despite what 3 things?
Less children/family
More educated parents
High levels of public spending
In 1996 what percent of all married mothers which children under age 18 worked?
74%
38% worked full time
In 1996, more than half of the mothers with children under age 6 were either working or looking for work. True or False?
True
What are the 2 main reasons American women are entering the work force?
Inflationary pressures
Rising standard of living
*Women go to work mostly out of choice rather than necessity*
In 1950 what percent of householders were unmarried?
22%
In 2000 what percent of householders were unmarried?
48%
In 1998, what percent of parents in one parent households were college graduates?
9%
In 1998, what percent of parents in two parent households were college graduates?
29%
Name the percentage of same sex female households with kids in 1990 and 1998.
1990 - 14%
1998 - 17%
More than 70% of all juveniles in state reform institutions come from fatherless homes. True or False?
True
Name the percent of all households run by single moms in 1970 and 1999.
1970 - 5%
1999 - 9%
What are the 4 big requirements for any family?
Love
Adequate supervision
Structure
Consistency
In a statistic about kids living with single parents earning under $12,500/year in 1998, what percent lived with fathers? And what percent lived with mothers?
Fathers - 17%
Mothers - 41%
Why do we need an X-Ray of our marriage?
Recognize destructive patterns that lead to divorce.
Be able to reverse those patterns.
What are 6 reasons that divorce has increased?
Family farm economy changed to factories making families less important.
Laws make divorce easy.
Women are economically more independent.
Increasing violence in society.
Sexual revolution.Ir-religiosity and low level of commitment.
How can conflict be the key to marital happiness?
A lasting marriage results from a couple's ability to resolve the conflicts that are inevitable in any relationship.
What are the 3 ways to resolve differences? (3 types of marriages)
Validating
Conflict Avoiding
Volatile
What is a validating relationship?
Compromise often
Calmy work out problems
Mutual satisfaction
What is a conflict avoiding couple?
Agree to disagree
Rarely confront differences head on
What is a volatile couple?
Conflics erupt often
Passionate disputes
What are the 5 causes of the demographic winter?
Fear
Growing population of working women
Cohabitation
No-fault divorce
Selfishness
What are the 6 consequences of the Demographic Winter?
Aging population
Depression/recession
childless homes
Gradual weakening of the West
Abandoned cities
Children suffer
What is a principle according to the student manual?
A principle is an enduring truth, a law, a rule you cna adopt to guide you in making decisions. Principles help us apply the doctrines of the gospel to everyday living and give us a light to illuminate the path before us in this ever-darkening world.
Prep Video 1: Why is the male only half of the problem? What does the female do?
The male withdraws
The female pushes more which causes the male to withdraw more
Prep Video 1: What is escalation?
One of the spouses says something engative and the response from the other spouse is negative instead of trying to approach what was being said.
What is the magic formula?
5 positive things said or done to 1 negative thing said or done
What are 3 things researchers look for to determine marriage type?
